Aldous J. Pennyfarthing

Eric Trump told Minnesotans to get out and vote. Today — a week after the election

What do you do when you're a crime family and all your kids are Fredos? You fail. A lot.

Case in point: Eric Trump

Of course, we all know Eric has the cognitive ability of a below-average glue-huffing Sea-Monkey, but that doesn't mean it still isn't hilarious when he screws up.

This morning, Eric tweeted — and then quickly deleted — this:

ScreenShot2020-11-10at9.43.50AM.png

Well, Minnesota DID get out and vote ... last week ... and they opted to defenestrate his father's ocher arsehole.

Naturally, Twitter was only too happy to point out Eric's gaudy gormlessness.

Donald Trump has often bragged (falsely, of course) about hiring only the best people. At the same time, he apparently sires the worst. In fact, he's like a gravity well of incompetence, as anyone who moves beyond the event horizon of his inner circle has to be super-dumbfuckish, or a relative, or both to survive for very long.

It's the Trump way. And it won't change. Luckily, they have to go back to fucking up their business now. And I certainly won't object to that.

Pete Buttigieg hits back at Amy Coney Barrett's not-so-subtle homophobic slur

We all pretty much know who Amy Coney Barrett is.

I see such super-Catholics on my social media feeds pretty regularly because, well, I went to Catholic grade school and high school, and a lot of my old classmates either haven't figured out that I'm a filthy secular humanist or, to their credit, don't care.

And by "super-Catholics" I don't mean anyone who's more Catholic than me — because that would include just about everyone. I mean people who care about blastulas and zygotes more than they care about kids in cages. Put a couple frozen embryos in an Igloo cooler and stash it in a holding cell at the border and maybe some of these folks would finally wake up to this administration's inhumanity.

So, needless to say, Barrett isn't exactly forward-thinking when it comes to LGBTQ issues. Unless the baseline we're talking about is sometime in the early to mid-11th century.



BARRETT: "I have never discriminated on the basis of sexual preference and would not ever discriminate on the basis of sexual preference."

There's a lot wrong with that statement. First of all, it's an orientation, not a preference. For instance, my orientation is heterosexual. Watching Glee reruns while stoned out of my mind is my choice. Secondly, I'm pretty certain she's not a friend of the LGBTQ community, so this is all just window dressing anyway. And bad window dressing at that.

Well, erstwhile presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg noticed Barrett's verbal sleight-of-hand and was having none of it:


That's my preference, too, Mayor Buttigieg.

Unfortunately, Mitch McConnell's orientation is reptilian, so don't hold your breath.

Are you outraged? Well, then vote. And donate. And do everything else you have to do to deliver us a Biden presidency and a Democratic Senate.

Make it so.


Conservative columnist shames GOP senators: 'It’s too late to scurry away from the sinking Trump ship'

Jennifer Rubin is a longtime NeverTrumper member of the marginally sane community. She's one of The Washington Post's conservative writers, but when she decided to side with common sense over Trumpite servility, she became an apostate in the eyes of many of her fellow travelers.

Importantly, she pushed away from the Trumpian hog trough ages ago, whereas many conservatives-cum-cultists are now so sated and logy from their unholy bacchanal they should be easier to pick off than fat, flightless pigeons when the voters finally have their say.

And now that Trump has dropped a few more notches on the "acting presidential" scale — from "barely human" to "raw, quavering baboon rectum" — she's calling bullshit on all the inside-the-Beltwayers who are suddenly trying to flee from the ocher abomination like Quint from the shark on the deck of the Orca.

The Washington Post:

The big problem is that Senate Republicans wrapped themselves so tightly around Trump — defending his plainly impeachable conduct in the Senate trial, excusing his covid-denialism, ignoring his racist language and incitement to violence and declining to stop his financial self-dealing — that it's too late to scurry away from the sinking Trump ship. When the GOP eschewed a convention platform this summer in favor of heaping praise on Trump, Republicans made clear that they have no position other than Trump idolatry. Even now, they seem not to have learned anything.

Now that Trump's worst enablers suddenly find themselves in a hellish Hieronymus Bosch painting — their torsos (and political prospects) being gnawed on by giant, grotesque Trump heads for all eternity — there's really no escape. The time to take a principled stance is long past. They'll be treading water in Trump scat until all that bad karma is burned off. Could take a while.

And while Rubin notes that Democrats — fueled by outsized enthusiasm — are outraising their counterparts up and down the ballot, the real problem for Republicans is their generally pusillanimous reaction to Trump's serial outrages:

The crazier Trump seems in the last stretch (pleading for indictments of his political opponents, recklessly spreading covid-19, on-again-off-again stimulus negotiations), the more pathetic the Republicans who enabled him look. This is the guy you said had it all figured out? This was the guy you defended as a victim of liberal elites? These Republicans long ago threw away independent judgment, character, responsiveness to the voters back home and honesty, for fear of provoking Trump's ire or the condemnation of the right-wing media and the MAGA crowd. It turns out winning is awfully hard, even in red states, when your Trump sycophancy horrifies women, college-educated voters, non-White voters, young voters and seniors. Money is the least of Republicans' troubles.

In other words, they should have mutinied as soon as Lt. Cmdr. Queeg flipped out over the strawberries. But they hung on for dear life. And now they're basically sunk.

But it's not over yet! Donate to your fave Senate candidate — and be sure to give Joe some love (i.e., cash), if you can swing it.

Bizarre campaign ad leads many to ask: 'What is up with Donald Trump Jr. in this video?'

Usually I provide a transcript with these videos, no matter how fucknutted the fucknuttery. But this is one you just have to watch because, seriously, I can't begin to fathom what's going on with Don Jr. in this clip.


Yeah, that's just what we need. A stupefied weirdo summoning a shambolic army of conspiracy-loving "poll watchers."

This is a guy who's accused Joe Biden of using drugs to get through speeches and debates. This guy. The guy who looks like he's auditioning for an after-school special about the life-altering effects of bath salts abuse.

And why is he reading it like it's a hostage video or a quotidian announcement from the Borg Queen?

Seriously, it looks like they shot this three seconds after sandblasting the crusty night gunk out of his face.

I think one of those gyros places on State Street in Madison still has a photo of me taped to their cash register looking like this — with a warning not to serve me.



I've never tried coke, and I probably never will, but if I do wake up some morning with a hankerin', I know now that my first call will be to the Republican National Committee.

Now, I'm not saying Don Jr. is stoned in this video, because accusing someone of taking drugs when you have no proof is really irresponsible (right, Don Jr.?), but he sure doesn't look good. Maybe it's COVID.

I don't know — something is going on.

Many people are saying that.

Many, many people.

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