The actual president of the United States is jealous of a dog's positive press

The actual president of the United States is jealous of a dog's positive press
Image via Screengrab.

How insecure do you have to be to get jealous of a dog’s news clippings? Well, exactly this insecure (second tweet):

“Remember the dog, great dog Conan? When we took out … Right? We love Conan. Conan’s a tough dog. But when we took out al-Baghdadi, Conan — remember this? — Conan got more publicity than President Trump. That’s okay. They were looking for al-Baghdadi for 16 years. We found him and we took him out.”

For those of you who don’t speak fluent Trump, “that’s okay” precisely translates to …

And I have no doubt Conan the Dog had a fuckuvalot more to do with finding and eliminating Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi than Donald Trump did. At the very least he didn’t get out of the raid by faking bone spurs, or whatever the canine equivalent of being a mewling silver-spoon coward is.

Also, as anyone who’s ever met (or seen) the guy knows, any mission planning session will go far more smoothly without Trump at the table. I imagine sitting in the Situation Room with Trump is a little like sharing a womb with a third-trimester dingo fetus. Uncomfortable at a minimum, and disturbing and dangerous if the dingo happens to get angry.

So, yeah. This is your president. He can’t let anyone else get the credit for anything — not even a cute, brave, loyal dog.

My super blowout book sale is still going! My latest e-book Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump, is currently on sale for a redonkulous $1.99. It returns to its (moderately redonkulous) regular price of $2.99 tomorrow. Meanwhile, you can find all my acclaimed Trump-trashing treatises at Amazon. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. 

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal
{{ }}
@2022 - AlterNet Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. - "Poynter" fonts provided by