Watch: John Oliver's Excellent Response to Paris Attacks

On "Last Week Tonight," John Oliver weighed in on the Paris attacks in the most suitable fashion, with an epic rant made up almost entirely of obscenities followed by a shout-out to French pastry. 

"Much is still unknown," Oliver said of the wave of terror attacks that have left 129 people dead as of Sunday. "But there are a few things we can say for certain." Chief among them is that the attack was carried out by "gigantic, fucking assholes." Oliver chronicles all the assholery involved, before concluding on a hopeful note. 

“France is going to endure. And I’ll tell you why: If you’re in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck,” he said. “Because go ahead! Bring your bankrupt ideology — they’ll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloises cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macaroons, Proust, and the fucking croque-en-bouche. You’ve just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight, my friends. You are fucked!”