DOJ files childlike legal brief in 'Trump-speak'

President Donald Trump is using the alleged assassination attempt on Saturday to press for construction of a White House ballroom — and a conservative-leaning editor describes the resulting legal brief as if written by a child.

Quoting acting attorney general Todd Blanche, Reason senior editor Jacob Sullum wrote on Tuesday that the Trump appointee filed his brief against the National Trust for Historic Preservation. But what he describes sounds like something off Trump social media feed.

"'The National Trust for Historic Preservation' is a beautiful name," Blanche’s brief said, "but even their name is FAKE because when they add the words 'in the United States' to the National Trust for Historic Preservation, it makes it sound like a Governmental Agency, which it is not. In fact, the United States refused to continue funding it in 2005 because they strongly disagreed with their mission and objectives. They are very bad for our Country. They stop many projects that are worthy, and hurt many others. In this case, they are trying to stop one that is vital to our National Security, and the Safety of all Presidents of the United States, both current and future, their families, staff, and Cabinet members."

Sullum said “the 535-word opening paragraph continues in that vein, averring that the National Trust's leaders ‘suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome, commonly referred to as TDS,’ and noting that they ‘are represented by the lawyer for Barack Hussein Obama, Gregory Craig.’

Blanche even goes so far as to claim the National Trust filed its motion to stop Trump from building his precious ballroom just because it hates him: "[B]ecause it is DONALD J. TRUMP, a highly successful real estate developer, who has abilities that others don't, especially those who assume the Office of President, this frivolous and meritless lawsuit was filed. Again, it's called TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. On top of everything else, this project is a gift to our Country from President Trump, and other Donors. It is free of charge to the American Taxpayer. Who could ever object to that?"

Then Blanche brings up the attack at the Washington Hilton, saying that ‘narrow miss,’ which ‘marks the third assassination attempt on President Trump since 2024,’ confirms ‘what should have already been obvious: Presidents need a secure space for large events.’ Given that reality, he argues, "’his Court's injunction stalling this Project cannot defensibly continue.’ It is ‘intolerable,’ ‘unsustainable,’ and ‘indefensible’ —a trifecta worthy of Jackie Chiles,” the famously unethical attorney from the sitcom “Seinfeld.”

“Although it is hard to see how Saturday's ‘narrow miss’ changes that analysis, Blanche argues that the Saturday night drama "could not have taken place in this new and highly secure facility!"

Even though Americans are overwhelmingly oppose the ballroom and want to focus on issues like the economy, two wars and Trump’s friendship with the convicted sex-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, Trump remains fixated on the ballroom far more than other issues.

“Trump has invoked the ballroom on about a third of the days this year, according to a Washington Post analysis of his public remarks and social media posts, a pace that rivals and even exceeds his mentions of some major policy priorities,” The Post’s Clara Ence Morse and Dan Diamond wrote earlier this month. “He has mentioned the project on fewer days this year than topics such as tariffs and Iran but on about as many days as he has mentioned health insurance and ‘affordability.’”