Ted Cruz's criticism of Biden's 'boring' first weeks in office goes down in flames

Ted Cruz's criticism of Biden's 'boring' first weeks in office goes down in flames
Sen. Ted Cruz (Screengrab)

In just 50 days, President Joe Biden got our vaccine production and distribution system whipped into shape and signed a historic COVID-19 relief package to boost our economy and give a helping hand to millions of struggling Americans, but damn, what a snooze it's been.

No waking up and rushing to your phone to see if POTUS has appointed his horse to his cabinet. No wondering if the president would blow up a crucial piece of legislation at the last minute because it didn't include money for a new Trump bust/water slide at Mount Rushmore. And I've never once worried that Joe Biden would tweet 12 things overnight that would immediately make you switch toilets if you read any one of them on a bathroom stall.

Oh, no. It's simply been good government, done well.

How fucking boring. Right, Ted Cruz?

Here we go:

For the nontweeters:

"Three words to describe the first weeks of the Biden administration: boring but radical."

Aaaaand … Twitter had some thoughts …

As for the "radical" bit? Yeah, it's not surprising that Cruz thinks anything that helps ordinary people is "radical." But what's really "radical"—in a decidedly non-'80s way—is ditching your home state during a massive crisis to sip blended margs on a beach with a woman your BFF implied was too ugly to be seen with.

The president is not supposed to be a show pony. He's supposed to get things done. Things other than making me vomit Apple Jacks for three straight hours on a random Saturday morning.

Mission accomplished, Joe Biden.

After all, #BeBoring sounds a hell of a lot better than #BeBest to me.

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