What The Candidates Consume More Important Than Policy

Welp, apparently Obama is now unqualified to be president because he eats vegetables.

I used to get a kick out of mocking the French. Now I realize they were right about us all along.

OH MY GOD. Roger Simon, channeling the goddamn Heathers:

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Clinton’s statement was not as important as her downing that shot of whiskey. Presidential campaigning is about image making, and there is no better image than being a man (or woman) of the people. Who is actually less elitist or more in touch with average Americans makes little difference.

I am not sure that Hillary Clinton of Wellesley College and Yale Law School feels the pain of ordinary people any more keenly than Barack Obama of Columbia University and Harvard Law School. They are both lawyers who are married to lawyers. They are both millionaires. They both live in very nice houses. Wolves have not gathered at their doors in a long time. But while Americans place the office of the presidency on a pedestal and demand (though they do not always receive) higher standards from our presidents, we also demand that they be like us.

Goddammit you stupid preppy Villager asshole, I demand no such fucking thing. I don’t want the people I elect to government to down shots. I don’t want them to clear brush. I vote for them to run the goddamn government. What the hell is wrong with you demented freaks? This shit is important - it really matters to people. Both Clinton and Obama supporters give blood, sweat and tears to their candidates because they are sick and goddamn tired of our government being run by a pack of incompetent, war-mongering jack-offs and they want the government to be run by sane people for a change. I repeat: this shit is important. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask all those thousands of dead Iraqis if they give a rat’s ass whether the president of the United States likes to drink beer. Jesus H., you’re a grotesque monster.