Sadly, No!

Right-Wing Response to Underpants Bomber Hilariously Hypocritical

Over at America’s Shittiest Website™, the reaction to the underpants bomber has been as swift as it was predictable. Naturally, because his flaming jockey shorts scared some people on the plane and has left right-wingers quaking with fear and soiling their own non-explosive underpants, this is the worst terrorist attack on American soil ever. And it’s completely Obama's fault. In fact, the first thing Obama should now do is fire everyone in sight, admit that he's the worst president ever, come back from Hawaii, and have his picture taken in the Oval Office while wearing sackcloth and ashes and apologizing profusely to the Dutch guy who burned his fingers and is getting paid the big bucks to do TV interviews.

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X-Mas Terror Elicits the Expected Response from Greater Wingnuttia

The incident on the Amsterdam-Detroit flight yesterday has, inevitably, elicited a torrent of nonsense from the usual suspects, all of whom apparently rushed to their computers before the Christmas roast had even been carved to share their almost entirely predictable, if completely ludicrous, takeaways on the subject.

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The Top Ten Years of This Decade

We want in on the end-of-the-decade list pr0n, thank you very much:

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Did We Quit When the Tea-Baggers Bombed Pearl Harbor?

Logan Murphy is right that Lawrence O’Donnell was pretty perfect in his interview of cobweb-brained townhall goofball Katy Abram.

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What You Can Do to Fight Teabagging Astroturf

So the teabaggers have apparently made it their personal jihad to preserve our inefficient and substandard health care system. As is their wont, they see health care reform as an effort to help give freebies to illegal immigrants rather than to Real Americans.

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Birther Insanity Continues to Spiral Out of Control

Bill Maher nailed it when he said that Birthers couldn’t be convinced even if you

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Pat Boone Gets All Misty About Waterboarding

Pat “Junk in a Box” Boone has a new column up at Wingnut Daily about waterboarding. I don’t know about you, but when I have questions about waterboarding and other forms of torture I think there is no better expert than a washed-up pop singer.

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Bill Kristol Embarrasses Himself on the Daily Show

Bill Kristol, who famously struggles to achieve the accuracy of a broken clock, went on the Daily Show yesterday and served up the most bizarre argument against public health care to date. It all starts when Jon Stewart, in a bit of gotcha triumphalism (the health care talk begins at the 6:00 mark), manages to get Kristol to admit that the government does in fact provide ‘first-class health care’ … to the military (beginning at about the 11:00 mark).

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The Wingnut Manifesto

You’re Free Republic founder Jim Robinson and you’ve drawn a line in the sand:

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Michelle Malkin Freaks Out Because the Government Might Help Poor People a Tiny Bit

Michelle Malkin ominously warns us to ‘[b]eware the grubby paws‘ of Barney Frank. It seems that the ‘powerful Massachusetts Democrat last week quietly introduced legislation that aims to use $1 billion in dividends paid by the recipients of government aid to provide rental housing opportunities for low-income and homeless families.’

WTF? Newsweek Says We Should Pardon Officials Who Sanctioned Torture


So I tried to escape the toxic levels of wingnuttery this evening by flipping through my roommate's copy of Newsweek. Amazingly, I flipped to page 36 and found this:

The Truth About Torture

To get a full accounting of how U.S. interrogation methods were used, the president should give those accused of 'war crimes' a pass.

By Stuart Taylor Jr. | NEWSWEEK


Dark deeds have been conducted in the name of the United States government in recent years: the gruesome, late-night circus at Abu Ghraib, the beating to death of captives in Afghanistan, and the officially sanctioned waterboarding and brutalization of high-value Qaeda prisoners. Now demands are growing for senior administration officials to be held accountable and punished. Congressional liberals, human-rights groups and other activists are urging a criminal investigation into high-level "war crimes," including the Bush administration's approval of interrogation methods considered by many to be torture.

It's a bad idea. In fact, President George W. Bush ought to pardon any official from cabinet secretary on down who might plausibly face prosecution for interrogation methods approved by administration lawyers.

Question: why did we ever develop the Geneva Conventions in the first place? Why does the Constitution ban cruel and unusual punishment? Hell, for that matter, why did we ever sign the goddamn Magna Carta*? Because what Stuart Taylor, Jr. is telling us is that government officials should simply be able to break the fucking law. And not just the laws against lying about blowjobs under oath -- we're talking about laws against goddamn torture. We're talking about laws that for years have prohibited the government from performing cruel and heinous acts on prisoners. This is important shit. But to Stuart Taylor? Pfffffft, yeah it's bad, but so what? We'll only learn the truth about this stuff if we just pardon everyone beforehand. Because fuck it, laws are only meant to be obeyed by the little people.

Straight Talk About Gas Prices

The truth is, we’re basically screwed in the short term and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Why? Because we as a nation have:

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Americans Life Expectancy Goes Down

I’m so glad America provides the best health care in the world:

For the first time since the Spanish influenza of 1918, life expectancy is falling for a significant number of American women.


In nearly 1,000 counties that together are home to about 12 percent of the nation’s women, life expectancy is now shorter than it was in the early 1980s, according to a study published today.


The downward trend is evident in places in the Deep South, Appalachia, the lower Midwest and in one county in Maine. It is not limited to one race or ethnicity but it is more common in rural and low-income areas. The most dramatic change occurred in two areas in southwestern Virginia (Radford City and Pulaski County), where women’s life expectancy has decreased by more than five years since 1983.
But hey, Hillary Clinton is a closeted lesbian with a scary laugh and Barack Obama is a stealth Muslim who can’t bowl, so there’s no way they can fix this stuff.



More:

The phenomenon appears to be not only new but distinctly American.


“If you look in Western Europe, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, we don’t see this,” Murray said.
Yeah, but I bet people in those dumb countries don’t have as many iPods as we do.


The next time some wingnut says to us, “What, do ya want socialized medicine like they got in YURP???” everything in this country should answer “Hells yes we do!” Because after another eight or so years of Bushian policies, we’re going to officially become a third-world nation.

Gay Does Not Equal Pedophile

Sandy Rios, the anti-gay divorcée who was too crazy for, and fired from, Concerned Women for America, is over at Clown Hall today once again demonstrating that she has more hair than brains. Lots more hair.

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What The Candidates Consume More Important Than Policy

Welp, apparently Obama is now unqualified to be president because he eats vegetables.

I used to get a kick out of mocking the French. Now I realize they were right about us all along.

OH MY GOD. Roger Simon, channeling the goddamn Heathers:

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What Would Wing-Nut Bloggers Do Without the New York Times to Kick Around?

You'd think that a New York Times article that planted a big sloppy wet French kiss on John McCain would be welcomed over at Pajamas Media. But that would just prove that you were unfamiliar with PJ Media's resident fashion plate, Roger Kimball, and his latest piece of nonsense, which he thoughtfully titled "Why I Do Not Like The New York Times, Section 10, Chapter 687," for those who might not otherwise get the point. Roger managed to see the article, which praised the military service of McCain's son, as further proof that the Times staff spends every waking hour plotting the best way to provide to Al Qaeda detailed instructions on how to build a suitcase nuke.

Roger starts his riff on the Times articles with a little bit of fractured syntax that would make Pastor Swank blush with envy:

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Will Somebody Please Tell Bush to Stop Trying to Talk About the US Economy?


It cost JP Morgan less money to purchase Bear Stearns than it would have cost them to purchase Alex Rodriguez’s contract from the New York Yankees. And between you and me, I think A-Rod would have been a far better investment.

On a related note, aren’t you glad now that Bush didn’t succeed in privatizing Social Security?

UPDATE: Oh yummy:
As feared, foreign bond holders have begun to exercise a collective vote of no confidence in the devaluation policies of the US government. The Federal Reserve faces a potential veto of its rescue measures.
Asian, Mid East and European investors stood aside at last week’s auction of 10-year US Treasury notes. “It was a disaster,” said Ray Attrill from 4castweb. “We may be close to the point where the uglier consequences of benign neglect towards the currency are revealed.”
The share of foreign buyers (”indirect bidders”) plummeted to 5.8pc, from an average 25pc over the last eight weeks. On the Richter Scale of unfolding dramas, this matches the death of Bear Stearns.

Maybe I should take advantage of plummeting home prices and purchase a shack somewhere in rural Idaho. After society collapses, I’ll move out there with my telepathic dog and invite you guys over for a big-ass post-apocalyptic party. Sound like a plan?




Gavin adds: How will you keep up the payments on your immortal robot body?

…Oh, and by the way, “the uglier consequences of benign neglect” is totally my phrase of the day. Just this morning, I was very near a point where the uglier consequences of my benign neglect toward looking both ways before crossing the street were, you know, revealed.


UPDATE II: Will somebody please, please, please tell Bush to stop talking?

Right Wing Spends MLK Holiday Spreading Lies About King

It's Martin Luther King Day, and you know what that means: yes, it's the day when conservatives all over the country get together and tell us that racism isn't a problem anymore and that if MLK were alive today, he would certainly not countenance any black people talking about how they are treated unfairly.

No, what MLK was all about was color-blindness! Yes, he was only interested in a unified world where everyone behaved exactly like white people. He was not interested in nonsense like affirmative action or restitution for slavery, despite his many public statements to the contrary; even the fact that he wrote an entire book about it shouldn't sway us into thinking that Dr. King supported anything as crazy as racial quotas or economic compensation in addition to legal equality.

This year, it falls to Paul Greenberg to write the definitive column on the legacy of Dr. King, who apparently, despite his opposition to the Vietnam War, support of democratic socialism, and economic bill of rights that called for a revolutionary change in the way that the government treated the problem of poverty, was a conservative!

Greenberg calls this lifelong liberal activist "the very definition of an American conservative", and, after quoting the 'not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character' part of the 'I have a dream' speech (which is the only thing MLK ever said that conservatives seem to know anything about), he asks:

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Right Wing Nuts Celebrate Destruction of CIA Torture Tapes

It will be interesting to see if this idea manages to gain legs.

Gavin brought up the idea not too long ago that for the people who inhabit what passes for "the Right" nowadays, the concept, "argument in good faith" might as well be a text written in Minoan Linear A. Keep that in mind while we take a look at Linda Chavez's argument here.

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