'Heroic gyrations and contortions': Columnists across the political aisle skewer Republicans' pathetic defenses of Trump

Despite all the compelling testimony presented in the House impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump — from Ambassador William Taylor to former National Security Council (NSC) official Fiona Hill — many Republicans in Congress continue to defend Trump vigorously. And two Washington Post columnists, liberal Eugene Robinson and Never Trump conservative Max Boot, assert in separate opinion pieces that those Trump defenders are going to ridiculous extremes in Trump’s defense.

Robinson observes, “The fact is that Republicans in the House, at least publicly, have performed heroic gyrations and contortions to remain in lockstep with the president. As devastating fact after devastating fact has emerged in the testimony, Trump’s defenders are reduced to arguing, essentially, that Trump can do no wrong.”

But the testimony, Robinson stresses, clearly showed how badly Trump and his supporters crossed the line in Ukraine.

“Sworn testimony before the House Intelligence Committee has revealed a clear quid pro quo that amounts to bribery: newly elected Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky would not get the release of nearly $400 million in military aid or a White House meeting with Trump unless Zelensky announced an investigation of (former Vice President Joe) Biden and his son Hunter, who served on the board of the Ukrainian energy company Burisma,” Robinson writes.

Robinson finds the testimony of Ambassador Gordon Sondland especially damning, noting, “The most devastating part of Sondland’s testimony, for me, was when he said that Trump wasn’t actually interested in having the Ukrainians unearth any new information. He just wanted Biden smeared.”

When Republicans continue to defend Trump despite all the testimony presented, Robinson emphasizes, they are defending the indefensible.

“Arms for dirt — that was the exchange Trump demanded, using as leverage taxpayer funds that had been appropriated to buttress U.S. national security,” Robinson asserts. “Explain to me how anyone can honestly believe that is an appropriate use of presidential power.”

Despite their political differences — Robinson is a liberal, Boot is a right-wing ex-Republican — the Post columnists are blistering critics of  Trump’s presidency and believe he deserves impeachment. Both of them obviously believe that Trump’s defenders are turning a blind eye to an abundance of incriminating testimony. But while Robinson’s piece digs into some of the specifics of the testimony, Boot uses biting humor to ridicule the talking points of Trump’s knee-jerk defenders.

Boot, in his column, notes that back on July 12, 1973 — following John Dean’s bombshell Watergate testimony —  the late Washington Post columnist Art Buchwald wrote a satirical piece that ran with the headline “Response List for Nixon Backers” (which conservative Never Trump journalist Charles Sykes tweeted earlier this week). Buchwald was making fun of Nixon apologists who were insisting that Nixon did nothing wrong and that Watergate was a non-issue manufactured by partisan Democrats. And Boot uses that same concept with his humorous piece, writing, “Herewith, as a public service, I am printing a list of excuses for loyal Trumpkins when they are attacked on Facebook or Twitter. Note: Any resemblance between these ‘alternative facts’ and actual facts is purely coincidental.”

Boot’s column, headlined “A Definitive Guide to 64 Republican Impeachment Excuses,” mocks Trump supporters brutally with such “excuses” as “Trump is too stupid to carry off a quid pro quo” and “If you impeach, the United States will turn into Venezuela.” Also: “Nobody knows where Ukraine is anyway” and “impeachment can’t be partisan. If Republicans won’t go along, the case must be dismissed.”

But as tongue-in-cheek as Boot’s column is — following in the footsteps of the Buchwald column from 46 years ago — many of the 64 items on his list are things that Trump defenders are more or less saying, such as “You can’t impeach the greatest jobs president in history,” “it’s all a deep state plot,” “Trump just wants to fight corruption” and “the whistleblower complaint is worthless hearsay.”