Stephen Colbert Nails Trump's Most Horrifying Admission This Week
If we've learned anything from Trump's first 100 days in office, it's that he likes to sign things, even if he's not entirely certain what he's signing.
"Yesterday, Trump signed an executive order calling for a review of our country's national monuments which could open them to drilling, mining and logging," Stephen Colbert said, opening "The Late Show" Thursday. "Because it's important that we finally find out how much oil is in Lincoln's eyeball."
While the order is controversial, Trump stands behind it. Or at least someone does.
"Sometimes I look at the things I'm signing," Trump announced at the signing of the executive order on the Antiquities Act.
"Sometimes? Just randomly? Not all the time?" Colbert wondered. "Has anyone tried putting a resignation letter in front of him? It's worth a shot."
After profusely congratulating himself, Trump went on to explain why he thinks his secretary of the interior, Ryan Zinke, is the right man for the job.
"Soon after he was confirmed, we had a snowstorm, a big one, and he was out there on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial shoveling the snow all by himself," Trump said.
"Really? Really?" asked Colbert in response. "Is that what Trump thinks the secretary of the interior's job is?"
In this case, the "Late Show" host had someone—or something—far better in mind:
"Forget Zinke; he should've appointed Toro Powermax 826!"