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Ted Cruz mocked for vasectomy-related 'epic self-own'

Ted Cruz mocked for vasectomy-related 'epic self-own'
Image via Screengrab.

Alabama state Rep. Yolanda Hollis has executed a troll for the ages, and Sen. Ted Cruz got snared. Hollis filed a bill that would force men to get vasectomies at age 50 or after their third child—and yes, it was a direct response to Alabama’s extreme abortion ban. But Cruz didn’t get that, tweeting a link to a conservative website’s coverage of the bill with the hot take that “Yikes. A government big enough to give you everything is big enough to take everything...literally! Alabama Democrat proposes bill mandating all men have vasectomy at age 50 or after third child.”

Oh, Ted. Yikes, indeed. Literally he didn’t look at this and think, Huh, a no-chance bill radically restricting men’s reproductive freedom—gosh, what could that be about? Nope, the outrage kicked right in and he just jumped at what seemed like a chance for a big, smug gotcha. And he got got, with 24K replies and counting.

The responses to Cruz’s tweet include a flood of explanatory GIFs, a “congrats on an epic self-own” from Ctrl-Alt Right-Delete strategist Melissa Ryan, and an “Ahahahaha you have pantsed yourself” from journalist Brian Beutler. For starters.

After that, we’re going to need to head to the Thesaurus for synonyms for “self-own” and “pantsed yourself.”

This man, I would remind you, thinks he’s smarter than you. Cruz thinks he’s smarter than everyone—in law school he didn’t even want to lower himself to be in a study group with people from “minor Ivies.” Which itself went to show what an idiot he is, since plenty of students at what I guess we’d have to call the major Ivies are about as bright as a sack of hammers.

Republican hypocrisy on this point is nothing new. Republicans absolutely, 100% think they should be able to legislate women’s bodies while men’s bodies remain inviolate. But come on, guys, at least learn to see the moments when, if “women” was replaced with “men,” you’d be outraged. It might mean a little less Twitter-based fun for the rest of us, but own the hypocrisy!

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