Colbert Mocks Trump 'Thug' for Raiding Doctor's Office Just to Keep Balding a Secret: 'They Know We Can See, Right?'

Dr. Harold Bornstein might have alerted the world that President Donald Trump is taking the drug Propecia for baldness, but it was a swift Washington wind that revealed to the world the truth about the president’s hair loss.


In his Tuesday commentary, “Late Show” host, and man who actually has hair, Stephen Colbert joked about the president’s body guard being sent to Bornstein’s office to take all of Trump’s private medical records.

“Now, taking hair-growth drugs is not something Trump should be embarrassed about,” Colbert said. “He should be angry that they do not work.”

“They muscled their way into Trump’s doctor’s office to steal evidence that Donald Trump is going bald?” Colbert wondered. “They know we can see, right? Are they also going to take away wind?”

Given Trump’s hostile encounters with wind, it wouldn’t be the first time he took extra strides to protect the image of his lush locks.

“But perhaps the saddest detail of this story is when Trump’s thugs saw this photo of Bornstein and Trump in the waiting room and they asked him to take it off the wall,” Colbert added. “Damn. When Trump breaks up, he goes full middle-school girl!”

Meanwhile, Trump’s former doctor railed against the so-called “raid,” calling it another “Watergate” break in.

“Forget Propecia,” Colbert said. “When he says that, I feel like Bornstein just prescribed me Viagra.”

Bornstein said of Trump’s health during the election that “if elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.’” Colbert noted, “I don’t think Donald Trump is even the healthiest individual named Donald Trump.” A photo of Don Jr. then flashed across the screen.

Watch the hilarity below:

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.