Why It's a Lot Less Risky These Days to Get Your Hands on Interesting Drugs - If You Know Where to Look

Friends, countrymen, heads, lend me your lobes. We live in the Golden Age of Drugs.


There's never been more headtwisters at a lower cost, with more peer review and easier to acquire than ever before in a human history littered with all manners of getting high. The only thing that keeps you, dear seeker, from getting your own drugs within a week of reading these very words is laziness and a vast overestimation of your own importance.

Thanks to the Dark Web, the many drug marketplaces (pinnacles of US laissez faire capitalism) accessible through the Tor browser (created with seed money from the US Department of Defense), almost any drug you could cream may be delivered to your door (with the smiling thumb-fingered help of the United States Postal Service). If you possess the technical competence to use eBay and perform a Google search, you can possess almost any drug known to humans (& that number is rapidly increasing thanks to the US-led prohibition leading to the creation of novel synthetics to skirt the edges of the law). Whether any of this is good or bad or utterly American is not for this horse doctor to say - but it must be known that it exists.

To wet your whistle, take five minutes and start cruising the listings and drooling over the possibilities. First, install the Tor Browser from here - your encrypted gateway to the Dark Web. For security, Tor's notoriously hard to crack according to NSA files released by Edward Snowden but it appears the FBI made a dent by hiring some ringers, allegedly paying a cool million to Carnegie Mellon researchers to track users and leading to Operation Onymous - the second major take-down of Dark Web marketplaces after the much lauded Silk Road bust. Even though it's possible to break the anonymity on Tor, it ain't easy & the most reliable methods depend on users accessing honeypots that probably stand out like a narc at Burning Man asking “Where do you buy some drugs around here man?”

Stick to markets like the ones reviewed here on DeepDotWeb's excellent roundup. Then you will just be one more little fish in a school of tens of thousands swimming through the DarkNet picking up just enough for their own head stash. This comparison chart helps you shop around for features on the markets like escrow that ensures your vendor doesn't get paid until your purchase arrives. Many of the markets require PGP (Pretty Good Protection) – an encryption service that allows you to convert messages into incomprehensible jabberwocky to those not in possession of your private key. You can use a Dark Web market that doesn't require PGP but it's not that hard to use and it certainly makes your vendors feel safer because PGP seems to be the biggest encryption stumbling block to the NSA's attempt to decrypt every secret. If you are looking for a particular drug, unsurprisingly, the Reddit DarkNet thread hosts excellent comparisons and bickering over various vendors and favorite headtwisters.

But although everyone has their favorites, it doesn't much matter which of the big markets you choose. They all feature a review system straight out of Yelp (and often with the same persnickety types of comments). The vendor's profile makes it easy to read between the lines and find your classic neighborhood dealer who loves these drugs and gives them away with an almost messianic fervor. Bonus points if they offer harm reduction advice.  The vendor refund policies are a good canary in the mineshaft because while packages almost never go missing within the domestic United States, the loss rate from Europe appears to be approximately 5%. Most vendors will cheerfully send the package again since they can check online to see that it mysteriously went missing at the US border - sometimes seized by customs but often apparently taken by an eagle eyed employee who wouldn't mind adding to their own headstash and well aware that this particular customer won't be calling to complain about a package gone missing. This also speaks to the safety of receiving by mail because even though these packages do disappear – and the first time it happens it'll worry the hell out of you – after years of listening, I've still yet to hear anyone getting busted for personal use levels sent through the mail. That's because the law in the United States favors our fair user because it's quite difficult to prove that you requested said illegal package when any asshole could have mailed it to you by mistake or as a vicious prank.

Thus, the safest option is shipping to your own home to your own name where you already receive many parcels from many places. Screwing around with drop houses, Mom & Pop mailbox stores that don't require an ID or other workarounds that appear out of the ordinary only leads to unnecessary screw ups. With 23 million packages per hour, the United States Postal Service possesses neither the resources or inclination to go after little drug packages. As this comprehensive post reveals, it's quite difficult for law enforcement to prove intent and fortune favors those who use USPS because, unlike the commercial carriers like DHL & FedEx, the United States mail is a highly protected entity and only the postal police have authority.

One post on the old Silk Road forum – now obviously disappeared - came from a reputed former assistant to a chief postal officer who said they certainly do send undercover agents to witness you sign for the package or break down doors after delivery but that's for kilograms of MDMA or pounds of heroin - not grams of weed, ‘shrooms or sparkly alphabetic powder. Plus, some of the packaging from these vendors is simply delightful as it is hard to crack. A birthday card featuring a magic fairy with DMT taped to her mushroom wishing you a 'Happy Blastoff' or GHB powder labeled as organic laundry detergent complete with helpful little scooper. Once you find a nice vendor, stick to them and make sure you leave lots of fine reviews.

After many years of following the forums and interrogating buyers who crossed my path, I've yet to hear a story worse than the drugs not showing up. Then when they do magically appear, you can be much more confident of the quality because instead of one friend or guy at a party vouching that their dealer “got the good stuff”, on these markets hundreds of picky users leave their reviews and poor quality is found out fast. Many of the vendors have reputations going back almost a decade and loyal cadres of fans vouching for their stuff and service. It's the markets that might betray you.

The markets do tend to cycle because just like the breakup of the major Mexican cartels caused a bloodbath of violence to fill the gap, the removal of silk Road led to sapling markets springing up in the gash where the old oak fell. Unfortunately these markets have had the tendency, after reaching a certain size, to disappear with all of the Bitcoins in the escrow kitty – either getting hacked and screwed or plucky owners deciding to get while the getting is good. With the anonymity, all that's left is a bunch of bellyaching on the forums and idle speculations as to what really happened. For the reputable vendors, that's a hard price of doing business but for the users, it simply means to load up just enough coins in your account to cover your current needs and as always, with drugs or anything else, don't stick in money you cannot afford to lose. Odds are you'll never get caught in a market disappearance and even so, compared all the things that can go wrong in person, especially looking for a new source – the Dark Nets do make life astoundingly easy and quite a bit safer.

All of the above cruising can be accomplished in minutes. The only time limiting step can be the acquisition of bitcoins. Depending upon your route from these constantly growing options, they can be purchased instantly with a credit card at a steeper fee or if you'll wait a few days for a service like CoinBase to link to your bank account directly, it's easier and cheaper later down the drugged road to get coins when you need them. There's no known risk for linking your bank account to a BitCoin exchange because many legitimate uses exist for this novel crypto-currency including buying more stuff on Amazon, enjoying crepes in Brooklyn, a premium membership on OKCupid for faster rejections, as ransom to allow Eastern European hackers to unlock all the files they froze on your computer (or the city medical records of Los Angeles) or the highest possible use: a donation to the Electronic Frontier Foundation defending your online liberty. According to this journalistic experiment, it's possible to live in San Francisco for a week on bit coins alone.

BitCoins represent the latest iteration of the long American libertarian tradition of trying to create an alternative currency to the US Fed. Lovingly called the sewer rat of currencies, its cryptic history is too long to here delve but with its features as an anonymous consensus network  of digital money, bitCoins enabled the first wave of online drug selling. Of interest to handkerchief wringing journalists, it also allowed the purchase of other services like hit men for hire (probably mostly traps by undercover cops) or items of repugnance such as child pornography (probably the only rival to drugs for number of visitors and interest from the law). Initially supposed to be anonymous, now it's known that since the block chain is public, it's possible to track bitcoin transaction using clustering though this risk can be attenuated with tumblers – services that take your old bitCoins and give you ones with different serial numbers for a small fee. But this supposes that cops care about your tiny transactions. Snowden's revelations undoubtedly only hinted at the depths of the rabbit hole but the behemoths of interest to drug cops operate far above the level of personal drug use & two-bit dealers scraping by selling to their friends of friends network.

I point out these vulnerabilities for the major players at the top to highlight the safety at the bottom. These cops do not care about you buying enough MDMA to go out partying for a month. They're yet to even snag a hundred operators out of the DarkWeb fish pond and these players carried major weight. None of these heavy duty encryption busters, stings & pattern matching are being wasted on you and your lousy friends. Do not overestimate your own importance. Cops & narcs are as lazy as the rest of us and if they're going spend hundreds of hours preparing to bust down doors, your personal head stash doesn't even blip the radar. Tens of thousands of users are enjoying the service and the ones taking the risk, as it should be, are the ones making serious money.

So install Tor and be nice to your online vendor as you would to the one who comes all the way to your house with their magic lock box. They're still taking a risk and they're still providing (mostly) excellent service.

So what to buy? Pick your poison. 2C-B for the finest sex (according to Father Shulgin)? Ketamine for depression or watching psychedelic animation? 4-AcO-DMT to see the Goddess? Or one of the rapidly rising NBOMe series sweeping the freak circuit? There's now more types of drugs out there than you could take in a lifetime and hundreds more variants every year.


So try something new. The world is open and your head is your oyster.

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