Durst: Discrediting Clinton

MemoFr: the Elite Republican Army. To: the Right Honorable Al D'Amato. As Billy Boy seems slicker than snot on chrome, and Hillary has the grasping properties of a greased eel in a bathtub of raw bacon, our energies might best be targeted towards a different flank. Plan B. A highly placed inside source has uncovered evidence that in the last year Chelsea has borrowed homework from a classmate on at least two, if not more occasions. We can provide expert testimony that between the two social studies papers titled "Tennessee Valley Authority: the Swing Years", three conclusions are almost word for word and not less than seven prepositional phrases bear remarkable similarities. Also, she has skipped gym three times in the last month, (whereabouts unknown, perhaps Vince Foster redux?) and her locker contains 3 glossy photos of television actor George Clooney including one that has a bulge drawn in ink on the crotch along with the words, "woo- woo." We have a handwriting man working on it now. Of course, there are always other ways. Plan C. A well placed friend has it on good authority that Socks is not as housebroken as previously thought. Just a few thoughts. Good luck on that ethics thing. They'll never make the charges stick.

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