Mister Leonard Pierce

Conservatives Are Always Triumphant and Also an Oppressed Minority, According to Notably Stupid New Book

Being a doctrinaire conservative in this day and age requires you to do a lot of cognitive gymnastics.  Luckily, the captain of the right’s gymnastic team is Ben Shapiro, who has been an exceptional contortionist since his YAF days, when he simultaneously boasted of his unfashionable virginity and scolded everyone else about their allegedly unconventional sex lives.  Ben is married now, and presumably has engaged in heterosexual intercourse, but it hasn’t made him any happier or more relaxed, as he makes his living harrumphing over the sins of liberalism.  Hey, just because it’s easy doesn’t mean someone should do it.

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Right Wing Spends MLK Holiday Spreading Lies About King

It's Martin Luther King Day, and you know what that means: yes, it's the day when conservatives all over the country get together and tell us that racism isn't a problem anymore and that if MLK were alive today, he would certainly not countenance any black people talking about how they are treated unfairly.

No, what MLK was all about was color-blindness! Yes, he was only interested in a unified world where everyone behaved exactly like white people. He was not interested in nonsense like affirmative action or restitution for slavery, despite his many public statements to the contrary; even the fact that he wrote an entire book about it shouldn't sway us into thinking that Dr. King supported anything as crazy as racial quotas or economic compensation in addition to legal equality.

This year, it falls to Paul Greenberg to write the definitive column on the legacy of Dr. King, who apparently, despite his opposition to the Vietnam War, support of democratic socialism, and economic bill of rights that called for a revolutionary change in the way that the government treated the problem of poverty, was a conservative!

Greenberg calls this lifelong liberal activist "the very definition of an American conservative", and, after quoting the 'not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character' part of the 'I have a dream' speech (which is the only thing MLK ever said that conservatives seem to know anything about), he asks:

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