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6 Dastardly Right-Wing Declarations This Week: The Phyllis 'Expand the Gender Pay Gap' Schlafly Edition

And: The poor should kiss the ground beneath the rich.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons


1. Phyllis Schlafly: Women need to be paid less so they can find husbands.

It’s one of the more perplexing mysteries of our time: Why is Phyllis Schlafly still flapping her lips? Has she not gotten the message that history has entirely passed her by? Several fold. Apparently not. Not content merely with her party’s rejection of pay equality for women, Schlafly took to her pen this week to argue that women would be better off if the gender pay gap were widened.

Whaaaat? You understandably ask.

Lower pay makes it more likely that women will find “suitable” husbands, the Eagle Forum founder wrote in the Christian Post. “Suitable” turns out to be the key word here, because Phyllis and her fellow retrograde conservatives have a peculiar definition of that. Women, says Phyllis, prefer mates who earn more than they do. Whereas men prefer to be the high earners.

We have a feeling that Phyllis doesn’t have the kinds of friends we have. Another feeling we have is that Phyllis is not living in the same century we are. But just because she advocates paying women less does not mean that Phyllis does not care about women. Why would you think that?

“The best way to improve economic prospects for women is to improve job prospects for the men in their lives, even if that means increasing the so-called pay gap,” she wrote.

Yeupp, the best way to save “traditional” marriage is to increase poverty and desperation for women (you can throw children in the pot as well). Wonderful idea, Phyllis. Wonder why anyone apart from everyone throughout history hasn’t thought of that before?

2. Pastor Kevin Swanson compares being gay to being a cannibal or an axe murderer.

You may have heard about the outbreak of conservative apoplexy brought on by Nabisco's Honey Maid commercial depicting a same-sex couple.

The competition for craziest reaction to an ad about graham crackers got tougher this week when Pastor Kevin Swanson of Colorado  compared homosexuality to axe murder and cannibalism on his radio program. Nabisco, he said, was making a big mistake here.

"When you come down to things like axe murder or homosexuality and you say, ‘We’re really going to promote it and we’re going to encourage everybody in America to engage in this or at least support this thing,’ there will be people on the other side who will take an adamantly opposed position to your support of axe murdering or homosexuality," he said. "They will be intolerant—they will be very intolerant of that which is evil, like axe murdering."

Having upped the ante that far, he couldn’t top himself, so resorted to an old standby, comparing homosexuality to bestiality. "Maybe they had another family where a dog is the wife with a human husband," he said, before adding, "Homosexuals love their friends and cannibals love their victims—they taste good.”

Love. He said love. Isn’t that just what Swanson’s brand of Christianity is all about?

Listen to Swanson's remarks, courtesy of Right Wing Watch, here.

3. Bryan Fischer: The poor should kiss the ground on which rich people walk, just as Jesus said.

The head of the American Family Association proved that he can be deeply offensive on a wide array of topics this week. Usually, Bryan Fischer spouts off about his hatred of gays, but he changed it up recently, and instead spouted off about his hatred of the poor.

In honor of tax day, Fischer discussed how the richest 1 percent pay 30 percent of federal taxes. We’re not sure where he got his figures, but never mind that the 1% often pay lower tax rates than the poor and middle class, or that the richest 1 percent control 40 percent of the wealth in the country (conservatively estimated).