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Sex and Relationships

"Fag" Is Turning into a High School Insult for Any Guy Who Doesn't Play Football

By C. J. Pascoe, American Sexuality Magazine. Posted October 20, 2007.


The author of the new book, "Dude, You're a Fag," explores how homophobia operates in high school.
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"I'm talking like sixth grade, I started being called a fag. Fifth grade I was called a fag. Third grade I was called a fag," seventeen-year-old *Ricky recounted as we sat at a plastic picnic table outside of a fast food restaurant in California's Sacramento delta region. Though he experienced this type of harassment throughout elementary and junior high school, Ricky said that the threats intensified as he entered *River High School.

At "all the schools the verbal part . . . the slang, 'the fag,' the 'fuckin' freak,' 'fucking fag,' all that stuff is all the same. But this is the only school that throws water bottles, throws rocks, and throws food." Harassment like this hounded him out of his school's homecoming football game. "Two guys started walking up to get tickets said, 'There's that fucking fag.'" During the game boys threw balloons and bottles at Ricky along with comments like, "What the fuck is that fag doing here? That fag has no right to be here."

While this singular event stands out as particularly hate filled, Ricky's story also illustrates the larger problems of homophobia and gender-based teasing in high school. Homophobic taunting is especially intense during adolescence, a time when sexuality and romance are at the fore of social life. For boys, and not just those who are branded as gay, walking through a hallway is like running a gauntlet of homophobic insults as their male classmates imitate effeminate men and hurl homophobic slurs. My book, Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School, examines this ubiquitous homophobia. During my year and a half of research at River High, I found that these comments, when coming from and directed at boys, often have as much to do with shoring up definitions of masculinity as they do with reinforcing notions of "normal" heterosexuality.

This is particularly true of the slur "fag." While the term "gay" is frequently used as a synonym for stupid, it lacks the gender loaded skew of the term "fag." Oftentimes when boys call someone a "fag" they simultaneously imitate effeminate men (in other words, behavior they consider to be "fag-like"). Their homophobic comments, jokes, and interactions, in a sense, serve to punish others into behaving in stereotypically masculine ways. Though homophobia is usually thought of as fear of same sex attraction, in high school, boys' homophobia is also about policing gendered norms.

At River High I saw and heard boys imitate effeminate behavior and hurl the word "fag" so frequently at one another that I came to call it a "fag discourse." Invoking this epithet and joking about "fags" were not just random incidents, but systemic and well accepted ways for teenage boys to communicate. Boys talked about others they considered to be "fags," made jokes about unmasculine mannerisms, imitated those mannerisms, and used the term to insult one another both jokingly and seriously. They lisped, pretended to lust after men, and drew laughs from primarily male onlookers. They frantically lobbed the epithet at one another, in a sort of compulsive name calling ritual. Because the "fag" slur is and isn't about sexual desire, both self-identified gay boys and heterosexual boys were subject to the label for failing at stereotypically masculine tasks or revealing, in any way, weakness or femininity.

Gendered Homophobia

When I asked boys at River High why they so frequently deployed the term and regularly imitated what they saw as unmasculine men, many readily answered that such homophobia was simply part of what it meant to be a teenage guy. *Keith explained, "I think guys are just homophobic." Regardless of assertions like these, their homophobia, for the most part, did not extend to girls. While *Jake told me that he didn't like gay people, he quickly added, "Lesbians, okay, that's good!" *Ray explained the seeming discrepancy to me: "To see two hot chicks banging bodies in a bed, that's like every guy's fantasy right there. It's the truth. I've heard it so many times."


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See more stories tagged with: homophobia, c.j. pascoe

C.J. Pascoe is a postdoctoral scholar at the Institute for the Study of Social Change at the University of California, Berkeley. Her recent book on gender and identity in high school, "Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School" was published by the University of California Press. Her current research project entitled Living Digital examines how teenagers navigate digital technology and how new media has become a central part of contemporary teen culture.

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It used to be "fatty-fatty-two-by-four...."....
Posted by: ABetterFuture on Oct 20, 2007 12:09 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...+ nonsense.

Kids are stupid. I mean, hateful. Let's invent a hatecrime!

Marginalize those little...wait..

...

nvm.

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This comment has been removed from the site due to non-compliance with AlterNet's community policies.
» It's plain to see Posted by: Rolomax
» Oops. P'raps I misinterpreted. Posted by: ABetterFuture
» Societal issues underly family stability Posted by: CanadianTheorist
Bam bam another Columbine
Posted by: Logic's Edge on Oct 20, 2007 1:16 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And people wonder why some teens go on shooting sprees. After a lifetime of being run down like that, it's a little hard not to blame them.

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Insults in Ancient Rome
Posted by: christininrome on Oct 20, 2007 3:16 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
During the mid-late Republic in Rome, the preservation of the State itself seemed to have been intrinsically connected to the masculinity of its contributors and constituents. Ancient Roman men avoided and ridiculed any male-effeminancy. They often made fun of behaviour which they perceived as feminine both in their speeches and public forums.

Externally visible traits of feminine characteristics on men, dancing, wearing lipstick, eating too much at a feast, dressing in slightly Hellenic and Eastern dress were sufficient grounds for hurling insults at the offender, calling him "woman-like." The orator, in order to reduce his opponent's public-esteem, and the value of his potency as a lawyer, would portay him as showing signs of womanish behaviour, wearing his toga in the wrong way or gesturing innappropriately, just like a woman.

As in today's high-school taunts, the ultimate degradation of another Roman male was not to call him gay or a woman, but to blurr the lines of his power and masculinity with sub-consciously perceived and accepted aspects of femininity. This ritual-like fear of any deviation from masculine traits, behaviour and characteristics was linked to Roman males' notion that self-management-and therefore State-management-were intrinsically connected to preserving each Roman's masculine self-definition. Therefore chastising publicly any man who didn't fall-in line was not only normal but necessary for setting the boundaries of masculine and feminine comport. These lines must not get confused.

It seems that very little of the "fag" discourse in today's schools, as this article has pointed out, has had much to do with the fear of direct or latent homo-sexuality among fellow male classmates. Calling each other a "fag" usually meant "you're showing insufficient masculintiy, you're acting too effeminately," or "you're an idiot." The boys concern in high-school is simliar to the ancient Roman males concern. The underlying assumption is that the lines between being male and being female do not get blurred. If today, that line's transgression arrives in the form of the like for dancing, wearing long-hair, sporting a dress, then the Ancient Roman model for masculine-social behaviour and therefore that of the State still holds true today: do not behave like a "fag" so you can avoid ever becoming like a "woman."

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» RE: Insults in Ancient Rome Posted by: dannrusso
» It is still a power issue Posted by: D_comp
» RE: It is still a power issue--agreed Posted by: apophenia_monkey
» FINALLY.............. Posted by: gellero
Parallel with the "N" word!
Posted by: kgs1947 on Oct 20, 2007 3:50 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Oh yeah, it's cool to use the "N" word, both by whites and blacks, because the Rap Songs say it so often accompanied with all the other vulgar words to give it real clout. So, now we've got the "fag" word. No, it doesn't mean anything about sexuality! BS. It has everything to do with femiphobia ... sexist and heterosexist. To prove masculinity, those who are perceived as 'unacceptable' and to be excluded from humanity, are just like women...less than men.

We've got a real problem here with parenting and our schools. So many parents and people who run our schools (mmm, teachers of family values, the American way, and right morality) are homophobic, femiphobic, because they are themselves so very insecure about their own gender and sexual identities. So, why not marginalize anyone who doesn't fit my standards?

They don't "fit", therefore they should not exist.

Bush is one of the main perpetrators of such a philosophy...if you can call it that.

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» Deviant? Posted by: gellero
» Sigh... Posted by: Coleman
» RE: Sigh... Posted by: Lajaw
» RE: Sigh... Posted by: LeaveMeAlone
» That's right, keep the hate alive! Posted by: magiquarian1969
» RE: Parallel with the "N" word! Posted by: skatermom
Homophobia Directed Towards Women
Posted by: EKSwitaj on Oct 20, 2007 5:24 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Regardless of assertions like these, their homophobia, for the most part, did not extend to girls.

This statement is somewhat misleading. The homophobia present in high schools doesn't extend to girls so long as those girls have a sufficiently "feminine" appearance to be considered desirable according to the standards of these boys' social milieu. Girls who appear sufficiently "masculine" are routinely harassed as dykes in high schools. This was true as much as a decade ago when I was a student.

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Shallow Report
Posted by: herbal on Oct 20, 2007 5:26 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is a very unsophisticated and simplistic piece. Adolescence in any private or public school is always very cruel by adult standards. Children are not only ¨adjusting¨, they are at a stage when they question and are forming thier own sexual identities. Conformance by even high profile adults is forced. Social dunning exemplified by fag bashing in juveniles is a painful reality, especially now in a Republican atmosphere when ill gotten wealth is taken as a sign of success, high status individuals are being are being outed by gay prostitutes, Catholic church priests are being sued for pederasty (yes, they are ´gay´) , Congressional Democratic leaderscompromise thier very morals.
Should we not address social issues openly by talking about both sides of the question? Is there not a real fear of pederasty among juveniles? They have an idea what anal sex is and homosexual rape in prisons by prisoners who identify as heterosexual, priest seduction, parents justified warnings abut pederasts, etc. and it is all very confusing and frightening. Is it any wonder that they act in ways that can be characterized in simplistic ways for social discourse, teasing among peers as well as individuals who are really peceived as being different? It might be a blessing that they are generally not confronted by and expected to deal with homosexual countercultural rhetoric and humor like merkin, smegma, fisting, amyl nitrate, circle f....,toe fungus, etc. etc. Life is more complicated than the author of the ¨fag¨article could consider.

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» Shallow Comment Posted by: newtype_alpha
What's in a name?
Posted by: willymack on Oct 20, 2007 5:38 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Who, with anytiing resembling a brain, cares?

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» RE: What's in a name? Posted by: bomec
» RE: What's in a name? Posted by: Bbear41
» RE: What's in a name? Posted by: rocketman
F*** Male Supremacy!
Posted by: Jkid4x on Oct 20, 2007 6:26 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
High Schools are notoriously conformist places. If you are a real man or a woman (meaning not into any of the stereotypical gender activites) you will be hated by the entire school, even if you are heterosexual. Even men who are more into books than sports will be perceived as a gay male by teenage homophobic brats. And the fact that men are more tolerant to two girls kissing tell you something about male supremacy in this country.

While progressive laws such as California's are enacted that change the laws, it may not change societal attitudes against a prejudice. So the government has a responsibility to educate people about sexual orientation and gender identity. They can show the history of these two subjects, present real people who are a sexual/gender minority to prove that they are real people with real feelings and real lives. That is the best way to cure homophobia and transphobia. And if that does not get to the homophobic brats, let the state penal laws deal with them.

And if school administrators don't want to do their job to protect all student from general and prejudicial harassment, the state should sue school district and fire the ones responsible for the harassment under their watch.

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Yet another report from the Institute of the Obvious
Posted by: AndyF on Oct 20, 2007 6:41 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It took her 1 1/2 years of post-graduate research to figure this out?

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Homeschooling - it's not just for right-wing wackos anymore!
Posted by: war_on_tara on Oct 20, 2007 6:49 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I was glad to learn that parents on the political left are turning to homeschooling. Often they live in districts that refuse to teach evolution & real science - that was the original impetus for the movement - but obviously there are many other reasons to do it as well.

Elementary school socializing is maybe all the socializing any child needs.

After that, is it really necessary to subject them to the "Animal Farm" or prison atmosphere of the average middle or high school? (even if they all have to do book reports on "Animal Farm" & "Lord of the Flies" without most of the kids seeing any irony).

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Ever notice...
Posted by: Q30 on Oct 20, 2007 7:16 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...that the school cheerleaders tend not to have sex with the boys who are considered "fags" and tend to have sex with the boys who dish-out the word "fag" the most?

Hmm. Wonder how that not-so-little detail got left-out of the author's own observations? (Shrug) Oh well, chalk it up entirely to the contamination called "masculinity" I guess.

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» Yes I have noticed... Posted by: KeeperofStars
TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS
Posted by: VZEQICVA on Oct 20, 2007 7:36 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Children are being taught how to be offended. And countless reasons why they have a right to be 'angry'. Hurt feelings are nothing new, but turning it into a lifestyle is doing kids an injustice. This is not an educaton. They're being turned into helpless crybabies. I'm not heartless, just realistic. If their days were filled with school work there would be no time for this crap. It's so sad that our kids lag acdemically behind most of the world. Thanks, ANNA

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» RE: TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS Posted by: newtype_alpha
» Excellent Points Posted by: chugach3Dguy
There's nothing gayer than...
Posted by: sausage on Oct 20, 2007 8:24 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There's nothing gayer than a bunch of guys on the football field patting each other on the butt after a good play.

There's nothing gayer than a bunch of guys wearing camouflage hunting outfits, "cammies," bragging about shooting a big buck.

There's nothing gayer than a bunch of guys wearing leather vest, chaps and do-rags, hugging and kissing each other at the local "Hog" rally.

There's nothing gayer than a bunch of guys watching an anal sex porn video, even though it's hetero, and cheering every particuarly deep thrust, commenting that they wish their wife/girlfriend would consent to such treatment.

Perhaps homophobia is both a projection and defense mechanism for all the homoerotic activities which permeate the hyper machimo world of the contemporary American man?

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Breaking News! Teenager children call each other names! Parents are shocked!
Posted by: thoughtcriminal on Oct 20, 2007 8:36 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm not going to say a word, other than to point out that there is a far, far better article that Alternet's editors decided not to run on the front page in favor of this tripe - here it is:

IMF's "Pro-Growth" Policies Killing Gains in Developing World
By Mark Weisbrot, AlterNet. Posted October 18, 2007.


What are your editors thinking? Why does Don Hazen focus on sex and ignore world politics? Please - this kind of thing is an insult to your readers.

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» Yellow You Read... Posted by: apophenia_monkey
I love that phrase "Is Turning into"...
Posted by: Voicedude on Oct 20, 2007 8:58 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
....like this hasn't been going on since I was in high school THIRTY + years ago! Yes, it's a shame, but it'll probably be going on another thirty years from now.

So get thicker skin and deal with it! The alternative is self-hatred or turning into a Columbine animal (more self-hatred, really!). We can only teach our OWN kids the right way to live, but hate-filled morons breed too, you know!

Since I, too, was on the receiving end of these berating morons, I clearly don't agree with it. But teenagers will be teenagers will be teenagers will be teenagers........

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» I was abused ... Posted by: Bbear41
Glad to teach in a progressive inner-city envmnt
Posted by: apple pie on Oct 20, 2007 9:50 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
In a society that continues to define cooperation and kindness as traitorous and doomed to fail is this really that surprising? The roots of intolerance may begin at home but they are reinforced at school. And no, homeschooling is not the answer, it is merely a reaction to the starving of public education by the same forces that wage unending war, practice intolerance, and encourage xenophobia.

If we really want to address the psychological health of the adolescent male child than we have to be able to model tolerance to them, not necesarily through more rules or 'laws' (although when safety is an issue, as with the child harassed by the thugs at River HS, yes the admin needs to enforce rules for the safety of all children), but through a frank discussion of free choice and decision making. Unfortunately the forces of repression are always at the gate of public education, foaming at the mouth and insisting on more rules, more testing, more corporate overseers, more militaristic nonsense, and less analysis of educational purpose and holistic curriculums that promote understanding.

And anything that is different needs to be pounded into that misshappen hole of agony and trauma (no pun intended!), to be made smooth, to be made consistent and non-idealized and so, robotic and easily managed, tested, and, like a good finished piece, finally destined only to increase production or to provide for being a 'good' soldier (sic 'team-player'.)

The structural violence that the system enforces ends up repeating itself unless checked by the classroom teacher. So, as it is challenged the reactive forces of intolerance will respond with typical violence. Any administrative staff that allows this brutalization to fester and succeed should quit working public education and go work for the prisons...it pays better anyways.

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" 'Fag' Is Turning Into ... " ?????
Posted by: Realman on Oct 20, 2007 9:59 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
" 'Fag' Is Turning Into ... an insult ... for any guy..." ??? You can say that with, pardon the expression, a straight face, as if it's something new, and happening just now, in the present tense???????

Are you kidding? What rock was the author (or the headline writer?) under for the last 30 years? This is not news.

I graduated high school in 1977, in a Democratic-leaning, very middle-class suburban district less than 50 miles from NYC, and even with those real and potential advantages to help the school have some progressive aspects, "Fag" was the go-to insult in the mid-70s.

Any gay men from the era who didn't die of AIDS complications (and most of my gay friends from them have died) have the lingering effects of a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. This is also not news. These are the stakes, as they have been for decades.

Either turn around how our "villages" raise our children, or continue to deal with the walking wounded. We sure can muster our strengths to get ourselves together in adulthood, but it'd be a lot easier on society to not have to heal the long-term, repeatedly-inflicted wounds in the first place.

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» Too true!!! Posted by: powdermonkey1
Erm...
Posted by: apophenia_monkey on Oct 20, 2007 11:13 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"fag" as a usuage of insult--and i might state a LOT--was around before i was in junior high well nigh 25 years ago.

is the author just now waking from a 100 year sleep or some such?

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homosexuality was rampant in Rome
Posted by: JERSEYDAN on Oct 20, 2007 11:14 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Hadrian and Trajan were both gay; so was Nero. Satyricon starts with two men fighting over a male lover. Not sure if this applied to later Rome,which was by then Christian. There may have been strong norms against it by then...

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» RE: *sexuality *was rampant in Rome Posted by: apophenia_monkey
» A day late unfortunately. . . Posted by: NthnBrazil
Words Are Malleable, People Are Hardwired
Posted by: InsertNameHere on Oct 20, 2007 11:18 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Fag is to the North American vocabulary as Cunt is to the English vocabulary. Focusing on words alone is pointless because if you take away one word, another will take its place. Any word can be used in a derogatory manner.

Retarded used to be in regular clinical use I think, but now is largely considered not to be P.C. so now we have 'special needs' or 'mentally challenged'. I'm not suggesting that Fag was ever a clinical term, but providing an example of how the meaning of any word can be stretched and changed. It's Newspeak.

Look at the word terror. How that poor word has been abused and contorted over the past six years. Sometimes when words get worn out, you have to invent new ones, like 'Islamo-Facism'.

High School isn't so different from adult life in terms of its mechanisms for social grouping. From your first day, you try to figure out what group you belong to. It could be divided among racial or religious lines, or by the fact that you are into sports or arts or whatever. Students group themselves by sex as well. I went to school in small town Canada. At that time, there were no blacks, no asians. I think we had a couple of Pakistanis whose parents owned a pharmacy. There were no distinct religious groups. So what happened?

We divided ourselves up by the jocks, popular girls, stoners. Our school was centrally located in an area of small rural towns and all kids in that area came to our school, so we also divided up socially by what town we came from. We divided up by economic class as well. It doesn't matter whether you are talking about gays, minorities, religious differences. Kids will find ways to divide into groups and will be fearful of other groups, it's no different in adult life.

Go to any workplace with a cafeteria and you'll see the same divisions among where people sit. Except there is also a new one, management separate from workers, but that is really just the logical extension of division by economic class.

I think people are just inclined to divide into tribes for a feeling of belonging and security. We might do business with other tribes and possibly form alliances, perhaps even inter-marry, but in any crisis you seek the comfort of your own tribe. It's true, from the geo-politics of the playground to the mud slinging of the world stage.

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Here's a lesson for Alternet Readers: There's more to "sticks n' stones" than "sticks n' stones."
Posted by: yellow on Oct 20, 2007 12:05 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The Alternet has much name calling in the posts. I am guilty as well. We can all defend our views and values without resorting to rage and name calling. Or to the defamation of the social identities of those we fervently disagree with.

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"Phobic" means "fear of"
Posted by: billwald on Oct 20, 2007 1:54 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I don't like lima beans. Doesn't mean I am afraid of them. I don't wish to associate with homosexuals. Doesn't mean I am afraid of them.

Why do homosexuals feel compelled to destroy common words? Should it be a felony to sing, ". . . now we don our gay apparal?"

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» RE: "Phobic" means "fear of" Posted by: apophenia_monkey
» on not liking lima beans Posted by: Bouldercreeker
Looking for Wimps.
Posted by: Melvin on Oct 20, 2007 3:53 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Unfortunatley here in Canada I have been unable to watch the Ruby World Cup. The best I can do is watch tid bits on UTube. After watching Rugby I have to ask; Are NFL players WIMPS? Who the hell are they,the football players, to decide what is a "mans " sport.

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The Deep Roots of Homophobia
Posted by: AlexLawyer on Oct 20, 2007 7:30 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Homophobia is sanctioned and perpetuated by fundamentalist and conservative religions, whether Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Jewish, just as racism formerly was. Southern Baptism and Mormonry used to stridently promote racism until God conveniently changed his mind in the late 1970s. Sure, teenagers will taunt one another and adolescent boys (and conservative adult males) will swagger, but the choice of a homophobic epithet clearly arises from a socially sanctioned, indeed sacrosanct, base.

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» RE: The Deep Roots of Homophobia Posted by: bravegirl68
Military Preparatory Training, Especially for the Middle to Lower Classes
Posted by: sofla100 on Oct 20, 2007 8:09 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The use of the "fag" expression, along with closely related other derogatory terms, is a way to discourage the expression of caring, sensitive feelings. By discouraging these feelings, more aggressive and even anti-social tendencies are encouraged in teenagers. Now, for the military recruiters, and especially from the population base they recruit from (middle to lower economic classes), this is a godsend. Boys, who feel weak and unmasculine, are given the chance to be "macho." And, what better way then the football field is the military? The chance to carry a gun, the training to kill. And, of course, the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of the military. Where no "fags" are allowed.

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Avoiding violence in school not only got me labelled a fag but also two gunshots that nearly
Posted by: maxpayne on Oct 20, 2007 11:24 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
wiped my life out. And don't worry, the student responsible for the shooting was temporarily suspended but was given "free" grades. Talk about total injustice !

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One big problem is with school administrators
Posted by: ReallyBearish on Oct 21, 2007 10:11 AM   
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Who operate on some kind of "rules-based system" devoid of common sense. Most of this crap goes right past them.

One example: a friend of mine's son was being harrassed in high school a few years back. Another student played a little "game" of blind siding him into a wall or a locker. My friend's son was an honor student, but ironically he was bigger than his attacker (not to mention that he was a 2nd degree karate black belt). The principal decided that since nobody else saw the attacks, he could do nothing about it.

After several incidences, my the son finally had enough and blasted the attacker after another attack. Since the school had a "zero tolerance" policy, both students were suspended for a day. (The game did end at that point.)

This whole thing could have been worse, but the principal could have handled the case in a more common sense and logical fashion.

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Well, this is nothing new ...
Posted by: kelt65 on Oct 21, 2007 10:12 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
But it is nice to see it articulated, even if no solutions are offered.

I take issue, though, that this 'has nothing to do with sexuality' - it has everything to do with it (I don't care what the kids say, they don't know wtf they're talking about). It is just one facet of institutional enforcement of heterosexuality, and perhaps the most damaging one. It is somewhat natural for young boys to be rebellious against adults, but rebelling against ones peers is much, much more difficult. the last thing some 13 year old gay boy needs is all this 'fag' shit, no wonder there are so many gay teen male suicides.

Sadly, in my experience, most adult men act the same way, like fucking 13 year old homophobiacs. The schoolyard described here sounds exactly like every place I've ever worked.

When adult educators stop preaching against homosexuality, or just being flagrantly homophobic themselves, this issue will eventually wither away. Why is it still, in fucking 2007, common for educators to tell young gay kids that they are sick, subhuman and immoral? And you wonder why this sickness trickles down into 13 year olds being utterly freaked out by - yes - being attracted to each other? How much longer can this sick anti-sex (really anti-pleasure) mentality persist?

It almost (just musing here) makes me wish for a moratorium on straight men teaching at the elementary level at all. Women simply do not do this, it just isn't there.

The real solution, however, is to get fucking religious wing nuts out of education altogether. Since no one has the patience for the geologic pace which this is proceeding (yes, religion is slowly losing its relevance, it is increasingly viewed as crazy, in the realm of flat earthers - it has virtually zero intellectual influence these days) , we sit here wringing our hands and writing articles like this. These freaks still control our society.

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Mabybe not a hate crime but still vile
Posted by: sculptor on Oct 21, 2007 3:21 PM   
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I'd like to see schools start expelling the vile little thugs that act this way. Calling a young boy a "fag" is more hurtful than calling a black child a "nigger" because a child though hurt by the later can dismiss it as a inherent sign of bigotry however being called the former he can't because it is a personal attack rather than a generic one. If this can't be stopped I think contact sports should be banned in public schools!

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boys will be boys ??
Posted by: toroloco815 on Oct 21, 2007 11:17 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
i guess it's good that someone is pointing out what most men learn, are taught, socialized in, etc. even earlier than high school....anything seen as "un-manly" is to be ridiculed, put down, or beat down in some instances......i believe the larger issue is patriarchy and not only it's continued oppression of women and gay folks, but the price self-identified heterosexual boys/men pay in terms of our emotional disconnection from others including ourselves with the exception of showing anger or rage.....so we numb/act out with booze, drugs, sex, work,
violence, and other examples of male 'privilege' never realizing that the system of patriarchy is destroying us, our sons, fathers, and brothers also...........when is the last time a female went on a shooting spree? (yes, i'm aware of the inspiration for the Boomtown Rats song, "i don't like mondays," but i find that the exception rather than the rule....
from our 'macho' leaders playing world policemen/cowboys to the grammar school bully, the common denominator is to be the dominator.....anything less than that is to be too 'girly'.............

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boys will be boys ??
Posted by: toroloco815 on Oct 21, 2007 11:17 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
i guess it's good that someone is pointing out what most men learn, are taught, socialized in, etc. even earlier than high school....anything seen as "un-manly" is to be ridiculed, put down, or beat down in some instances......i believe the larger issue is patriarchy and not only it's continued oppression of women and gay folks, but the price self-identified heterosexual boys/men pay in terms of our emotional disconnection from others including ourselves with the exception of showing anger or rage.....so we numb/act out with booze, drugs, sex, work,
violence, and other examples of male 'privilege' never realizing that the system of patriarchy is destroying us, our sons, fathers, and brothers also...........when is the last time a female went on a shooting spree? (yes, i'm aware of the inspiration for the Boomtown Rats song, "i don't like mondays," but i find that the exception rather than the rule....
from our 'macho' leaders playing world policemen/cowboys to the grammar school bully, the common denominator is to be the dominator.....anything less than that is to be too 'girly'.............

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» RE: boys will be boys ?? Posted by: LeeAnnG
» RE: boys will be boys ?? Posted by: wearesilhouettes
Americans are becoming subhuman
Posted by: snideelf on Oct 22, 2007 12:33 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The public school system that does nothing to correct this type of behavior is only encouraging students to become less than human.
I guess that's okay when you see what kind of leaders we have in this country.
Also the crap on TV and esp. on the movies, what passes for "entertainment" with the popular genre of "action movies" full of ultra-violence probably does not help.
Everyone wants to be "bad".
If crap like Columbine and VTech continue to happen, then the citizens of America are too stupid to do anything about it.
Just look at how many American citizens went out and actually voted for Bush.
Says a lot.

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It's not just about homophobia
Posted by: LeeAnnG on Oct 22, 2007 8:40 AM   
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In societies where the necessities of life such as food and shelter are either scarce or threatened, traditional male characteristics like aggression and competitiveness are honored. Warriors are admired, while deities and leaders are usually male.

In societies where the necessities of life are abundant, traditional female characteristics like nurturing and cooperation are honored. The elderly are admired for their wisdom, while deities and leaders are usually female.

In America, after the Vietnam War, people began to realize that we were a nation of abundance. The middle class was thriving. The threat of communism was diminishing, we had no real economic or political rivals, and we had the largest weapons system known to history. In other words, we had a society in which the essentials of life were assured for a lot of people. During that time, many men, especially those from the middle and upper classes (from which the hippies usually came) began being kinder and gentler than previous generations. The women's movement was accepted by a surprising number of men, and women made strides in the workplace and at home. This was not universal, but it was a definite movement.

Male dominance was threatened, and the troglodytes in certain republican and rightwingnut religious camps were threatened. How would they maintain their patriarchal society without wars and fear? A concerted effort was made by men in power (as it was right after WWII - see Betty Friedan for more information) to put women back in their place. Rallying the populace to war and unrest was a good way to restore masculine power. Since there was no Soviet Union, rogue states became the enemy of choice.

Although name-calling and the word "fag" have always been prevalent among adolescent boys, the sheer magnitude of the problem seems new. It's a reflection of a larger attitude that demands that "men act like men."

Note that horrible beer commercial in which men are crushed by beer cans for being nice to their wives or acting compassionate. In the original Star Trek series, strange new life forms were very often benign and if one appeared to be friendly, it usually was. On Voyager, friendly species are the most suspect and usually turn out to be threatening. It's not a coincidence, it's the attitude of the times.

More and more "having balls" meaning "courage" has become the norm as a compliment. In other words, you have to be a man or like a man to have courage. If you are a "pussy" then you are like a woman and not as good. The idea that masculine = good and feminine = not so good has become pervasive.

This is a simplistic overview of a complex subject, but it's easy to find support for my premise by paying attention to our language, the treatment of certain members of our population, and the discourse of "conservative" elements of society.

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Mirror Mirror on the wall...
Posted by: Axiom69 on Oct 22, 2007 8:53 AM   
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As people, when we look at the world we want to see our own relection. Why? Because of the basic human instinct to "belong". To be part of the group. To be "normal". When we do see our own reflection it affirms that we are where we should be. When we don't, it forces us to question whether or not we are "correct" in our self identification. It is difficult to question ones own values, identity or place in the world. It is easier to question others. This leads to the intolerance of anything that we deem not to be "normal". This is where homophobia, racism, anti-semitism and a host of other bigoted attitudes come from. Highschoolers are especially vunerable to this being the the search for self-identification is being formed at this point. By "teasing" others it re-affirms their belief that they are "correct" and also helps hide any doubts they may have. If they are having doubts about their own sexual identity it helps hide it from others lest they be labeled as "not normal" or a "fag".
The solution starts at home by parents teaching their children tolerance. By teaching them to look at people that are different from them not with fear but as an oppurtunity to learn. To learn about a different culture, race, heritage or lifestyle. Teach them the benefits this learning brings instead of the close mindedness of fear. This cannot be forced on people with lawsuits and regulations. Education is the best weapon against almost all of societies ills. Now if we can only get people to learn THAT lesson.

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a society's values
Posted by: zooeyhall on Oct 22, 2007 12:31 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
agressiveness, forcefulness, "drive", powerful, vigorous, "having balls"...

Hell, these are words you are likely to find in any job description or interview for a middle manager or CEO.

This type of behavior and attitude is REWARDED in our society.

Some of the very qualities that you find in the lunks who participate in gay bashing you will find in some of the people that Forbes Magazine is praising right now.

It wouldn't surprise me if many of the young men who partcipate in gay hate have dads who are CEOs or managers of one kind of another.

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» RE: a society's values Posted by: wearesilhouettes
Becoming...
Posted by: swarmofkillermonkeys on Oct 22, 2007 3:34 PM   
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No, not becoming. I'll chime in as well to state that 'fag' was in almost every sentence spoken by teenagers in the late 80s early 90s where I grew up.
"Quit being such a fag and getting me in trouble!"
"No, YOU'RE a fag!"
"Hey -- quit hitting me, faggot!"
"Fag!"
"Fag!"
(the playful hitting continues, the irony unnoticed, until a third boy comes along...)
"Dude, you guys are gay!"
(both change their tune in harmony)
"No way! We aren't gay!"
"Yeah, seriously. We're not gay, man."

There's a typical, hormone induced brain-addled conversation that I remember hearing. Completely divorced from any homosexual message... except, perhaps, as a way for two teenage boys to be close, and touch, without feeling "guilty". You know, since at 13+ most boys are permanently... uh, ready-to-go. They are terrified that everyone can see their stiff bits and will somehow get the wrong message. Or even worse, their scary, gigantic sex drive will at some point just make they themselves jump their buddy and go to town. Seriously, teenage boys are idiots. But then, I do remember my sex drive from 16. Wow. Can be powerful and confusing stuff for a kid, especially with no outlet (no pun intended).

To me the word isn't the problem. It is the bullying attitude behind it. In my high school in a poor mining town in a red state, the 3 black kids were heroes, the 2 out gay kids where ignored. Great right? Wrong. Someone, anyone, would have the crap beat out of them in the parking lot on a regular basis. Near daily. Sometimes parents participated. Some were injured for life. Some couldn't take the abuse and suicided.

That isn't homophobic or racist. Welcome to being human.

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wow
Posted by: wearesilhouettes on Oct 22, 2007 4:07 PM   
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I knew it was bad, but not this bad. There were kids in my highschool that said things like in this book excerpt, but they were mostly ignored and labeled 'weird' violent' or 'thugs'. They didn't have many friends. It definitely was not part of everyday conversation between boys. This was in 2002.
I think this is indicative of our social consciousness as a whole right now in our society. Teenagers are especially sensitive, I think, to feelings and want to be 'normal' and 'cool'. Most Americans watch 3-6 hours of TV a day or play video games, etc, and most of it, I believe, is overly violent, and focused on externalities of life such as being 'hot' or 'cool' or wearing the right clothes or anything that has to do with hiding who you really are, because who you really are is veeerrry bad since it does not conform with everyone else.
I think this is a purposeful tool used by the corporations and tv monopolies to brainwash us and make our children in to self obsessed, violent, and neurotic adults. They control the media - we watch it - we become what we're told to be.

By the way, can I pinch a fag from you? I haven't had a smoke all day!!

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Not Much New Here
Posted by: rrk70 on Oct 22, 2007 5:58 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Women writing about male sexuality, adolescent or otherwise, always strikes me as naive. All males know the drill. Behave like a macho idiot and you'll be 'cool'. Behave like a sensitive human being, with intellectual pursuits, and you're a 'fag'. It has ever been thus, only I think it's worse now. We have demonized meaningful intergenerational contact, and adult male role models, other than football/basketball/baseball players are few and far between. Male high school faculty members are notorious for reinforcing stereotypical macho behavior, and not protecting those who exhibit nonconformist behavior. Having been a male high school faculty member (long ago) I well remember my unsuccessful efforts to thwart especially the PE types who in those days terrorized any boy with long hair or who didn't like football.

Mostly, adolescent males attempt to purge themselves of the same feelings they mock as 'gay' or 'fag-like' in those around them. Same-sex attraction in males, especially young males, is all but universal, but our culture has taught from an early age that such attractions are taboo, or worse. Consequently self-hatred is quite common. So the realization they have such same-sex attractions produces the ultimate defense: accusation. Calling everone else a 'fag' means you aren't gay. If only.

In the male high school world the conventional behavior is that anything feminine ranks you lower than low. What does this say for forty years of feminism? Males still see any femininity as weak as they deny such traits and feelings in themselves.

This is a cultural phenomenon that reflects our national militarism. Rambo is the role model, and we could be doing much more about it. Laws, however, are not the answer. Intergenerational male-male contact, assuming the older male is not a complete idiot, could make a big difference, but such healthy contact is rare. Time does make some of these morons grow up, but the damage done to those persecuted under this progrom is permanent.

Like everything else I thought would get better as time has gone on, this hasn't, and I'm all the sadder for it.

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