Psychology Today

'What the hell happened?' Theoretical biologist offers an often-overlooked explanation for how your ex ended up that way

Ultimately there was no talking to them. Nothing you said made any difference. You told them over and over what you needed and they just kept doing the things you’d made absolutely clear didn’t work. Finally, you gave up and got out.

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Beliefs: 12 Myths You'll Be Relieved to Debunk

If you’re unhappy, just change your beliefs. So goes a hugely popular bit of advice in psychological and spiritual circles these days. It makes some sense, though not as much as touted. It suggests that beliefs are like consumer products. If you’re dissatisfied with the product, just swap it out for an upgrade. Simple.

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The Deep Roots of Left vs. Right

What organizes people into sustained political factions like left vs. right? Supposedly our opposing answers to some fundamental question, but what is that question?

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Why Do People Cherry-Pick Which Science They Accept?

Have you heard of Cafeteria Catholicism? It’s what they call heresy these days, picking and choosing which religious laws one lives by as though picking tidbits you like at a salad bar. You’re not supposed to do that with a religion. They’re meant to be package deals, in for a penny in for a pound.

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Can Humans Truly Connect With Nature by Eating a Big Mac?

Do we really need to kill other animals to connect with nature and with ourselves?

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Why Can Only Humans Be Murdered? What About Non-Human Animals?

It's well known that the language we use to refer to nonhuman animals can be used to hide or sanitize the often egregious ways in which we use, harm and kill them. Words such as euthanize, dispatch, harvest, and cull are frequently used to refer to instances in which people with different motivations and intentions kill healthy animals. It's about time these polite words are changed to the harsher word, murder, because that's what it really is. However, time again, we are told that only humans can be murdered, because that's the way legal systems view killing other-than-human animals.

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If You Truly Care About Social Justice, Then You Might Want to Think About Who It Is Exactly You're Eating (VIDEO)

In her excellent essay, Dr. Hope Ferdowsian clearly showed "Why Justice for Animals Is the Social Movement of Our Time." Here, I want to follow up on how issues of rampant and brutal animal abuse, specifically in the profit-driven animal-industrial food complex, and social justice, are closely linked.

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Why Justice for Animals Is the Social Movement of Our Time (VIDEO)

Earlier this week, SeaWorld finally caved to public criticism and ended its orca (killer whale) breeding program. This will be the last generation of orcas held captive by SeaWorld. The announcement follows international efforts to acknowledge the rights of whales and dolphins. 

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Why Changing My Name Was and Wasn't the Worst Thing I Ever Did

You might recognize my name—my byline, as we writers say, seizing this shard of shoptalk as our consolation prize for earning far less than we ever dreamed we would.

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I'm Not a Self-Hating Jew; I'm a Tribe-Unexceptionalist Jew

I was born Jewish and like most folks I love myself and my tribe. I especially like our flavor of self-effacing irony, much as I love the self-effacing irony of other tribes, Mexicans, black Americans. I suspect we come by through various seasons of being oppressed minorities, though I think most tribes were at one time or another the oppressed and oppressors.

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Do Men and Women Kill Themselves for Different Reasons?

I am writing this in hope that it might help some people better understand what they might be feeling, to feel less out of control and to feel less alone.

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The Amazing Benefits of Daydreaming on the Mind

As a young kid, I was asked by a psychologist, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Without skipping a beat, I replied, "I have this reoccurring dream of one day being a psychologist and giving lots of talks."

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How to Tell a Sociopath from a Psychopath

Many forensic psychologists and criminologists use the terms sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably. Leading experts disagree on whether there are meaningful differences between the two conditions. I contend that there are significant distinctions between them.

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Preventing Future Isla Vistas - Sucking Out the Poison

This is a work in progress…

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Never Be Manipulated Again

From dictionary.com:

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Are You Suffering From "Fragidity" - Pretending You're on Top of Things, but It's a Masquerade?

It happens to the best of us. Our lives get shaken; our grooves get broken. We get a little disoriented or maybe a lot. It’s all we can do to keep it together and every little further perturbation; real or perceived is a threat. 

So we circle the wagons, hyper-vigilant against attacks, challenges, feedback or questions.  We get prickly and rigid, insistent that we’re on top of things, precisely because we’re not. To those around us it can look like the height of arrogance but it’s actually vulnerability. We don’t think more of ourselves, but less and are grasping for the self-certainty we’ve lost.

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12 Reasons A-Holes Win and You Don't

A "know-it-all" who doesn't know what he is talking about is a jerk; whereas a "know-it-all" who does know what he is talking about is merely an a-hole.
- from Get Out of Your Own Way by Mark Goulston 


As much as I wholeheartedly agree with the philosophy behind Bob Sutton’s New York Times best-selling book The No Asshole Rule, I have to conclude that a-holes have always been around and probably always will. An even more disheartening truth is that more often a-holes seem to win whereas nice guys do seem to finish last or at least far behind their obnoxious  counterparts. And here’s why:

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