Jezebel

5 Things That Piss Me Off About People Who've Never Known What It's Like to Be Poor

We probably seem painfully ordinary or even invisible. We are middle-class-looking people (or "better") who drive unremarkable but reliable cars, usually conjugate verbs correctly and probably went to college. We might even have jobs and successes that make us seem like we sailed through the flaming hoops of the privilege circus to land there. We look and talk and act like people who have all the hallmarks of a middle-class upbringing, so we are treated that way.

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Why Smoking Weed Makes Me a Better Mom

The following story first appeared on Jezebel.

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8 Most Disgusting 'Foods' Fed to Children

It's a well-known fact that kids will cheerfully eat stuff a starving hyena won't go anywhere near. This got me thinking: what sort of goofy, ridiculous shit did we eat as children that probably should be banned by the Geneva Convention?

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10 Horrifying Fast Foods That Should Not Exist

I love fast food so much that my feelings for it are probably illegal in Georgia. It's objectively disgusting, of course, but I truly love it. Give me a BK Double Stacker or a Big Mac or literally anything from Popeye's and I'm a happy (and gastrically-distressed) camper. But really, never has the tag for these articles been more apropos than with some of the mad science experiments these companies come up in their never-ending war over who can do more unspeakable things to nacho cheese. I don't fault someone for eating fast food, ever (that would be hypocrisy on a level that would stagger even the talking heads at Fox News), but I feel like the existence of each and every one of these items has to be the result of a dare taken WAY too far.

1. Doritos Locos Tacos — I swear to God I thought this was a joke the first time I saw an ad for it. Then, after I thought about it for a while, it started to make sense. See, the Doritos Locos Taco is the Caligulan orgy of the Pax Americana. Centuries from now, historians will look back at the Doritos Locos Taco and conclude that such decadence heralded the inevitable decline of our once-mighty society. Truly, they will surmise, we were brought low by our need to insert chemical-flavored nachos into every foodstuff. Well, that and the whole supply-side economics thing. But we both know its really the Doritos Locos Tacos.

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Doritos' Long, Slow Descent Into Madness

Given a lot of the company's actions in the past few years, it's fair to ask: have the minds behind Doritos completely and utterly lost it? Has anyone yet done the necessary research to trace the roots of Doritos' descent into the dark heart of absurdity into some sort of workable timeline?

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Everything I Screwed Up While Trying to Eat Like Gwyneth Paltrow for a Week

If there's one thing I love, it's cheese-covered gluten. And if there are two things I love, they're cheese-covered gluten and making fun of lifestyle guru and noted Veela Gwyneth Paltrow. So when I came across a copy of Gwyneth's 2014 diet book It's All Good ("delicious, easy recipes that will make you look good and feel great"), it seemed like a golden opportunity: What if I spent a week eating only Gwyneth's gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, meat-free, ingredient-free, my-children's-college-fund-free food? Would I look good? Would I feel great?

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What's Really in Hot Dogs? Watch This Video to Find Out

Want to know what's actually in a hot dog? Surprisingly, the answer is not "hooves, lips, and skunk anus." Well, not JUST hooves, lips, and skunk anus.

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Girl Kicked Out of Prom Because of Leering Dads

In case you weren't already convinced that most high school dress codes are sexist bullshit meant to police young women's behavior along totally arbitrary guidelines, this story should do it for you: a 17-year-old girl was publicly chastised and kicked out of a homeschool prom in Virginia because several dads in attendance were unable to stop ogling her from a balcony overlooking the event.

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15 Most Horrifying Deep-Fried Foods in America

The following post first appeared on Jezebel.com. 

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10 Horrifying Fast Foods That Should Not Exist

I love fast food so much that my feelings for it are probably illegal in Georgia. It's objectively disgusting, of course, but I truly love it. Give me a BK Double Stacker or a Big Mac or literally anything from Popeye's and I'm a happy (and gastrically-distressed) camper. But really, never has the tag for these articles been more apropos than with some of the mad science experiments these companies come up in their never-ending war over who can do more unspeakable things to nacho cheese. I don't fault someone for eating fast food, ever (that would be hypocrisy on a level that would stagger even the talking heads at Fox News), but I feel like the existence of each and every one of these items has to be the result of a dare taken WAY too far.

1. Doritos Locos Tacos — I swear to God I thought this was a joke the first time I saw an ad for it. Then, after I thought about it for a while, it started to make sense. See, the Doritos Locos Taco is the Caligulan orgy of the Pax Americana. Centuries from now, historians will look back at the Doritos Locos Taco and conclude that such decadence heralded the inevitable decline of our once-mighty society. Truly, they will surmise, we were brought low by our need to insert chemical-flavored nachos into every foodstuff. Well, that and the whole supply-side economics thing. But we both know its really the Doritos Locos Tacos.

Keep reading...Show less

8 (More) Insane Things We Feed Kids

It's time for another installment of Foods That Should Not Exist, and we're going back ... way back.

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8 Most Disgusting 'Foods' Fed to Children

It's a well-known fact that kids will cheerfully eat stuff a starving hyena won't go anywhere near. This got me thinking: what sort of goofy, ridiculous shit did we eat as children that probably should be banned by the Geneva Convention?

Keep reading...Show less

Does Porn Make People Sexist?

This article first appeared on Jezebel.com. 

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How to Be an Atheist Without Being a Jerk About It

The following article first appeared on Jezebel.com. 

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Dartmouth Quick to Punish Rape Protestors Instead of Actual Rapists

It's been a tumultuous spring semester at Dartmouth College, thanks to a highly publicized student protest and widely supported Clery Act complaint, both of which accused the college of mishandling violations of sexual assault, homophobia, and racism. This week, Dartmouth responded by...charging undergrad protesters for rallying in a dining hall. Somehow, we're not surprised.

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Why We Need to Talk About the Horrifying Gosnell Abortion Trial

Philadelphia abortion provider Dr. Kermit Gosnell is accused of running a clinic straight out of the Saw horror franchise: standard practices allegedly included snipping the spines of live newborns with rusty equipment, storing feces in cat-food containers and fetus feet in jars, and overdosing patients, particularly those who were poor women of color. Make no mistake: if these charges are correct, Gosnell is a monster. But his business was able to thrive because of limited access to reproductive choice, not because of reproductive choice itself.

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Does Sending Teen Rapists to Prison Make the Problem Worse?

The following article originally appeared at Jezebel.

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5 Things That Piss Me Off About People Who've Never Known What It's Like to Be Poor

We probably seem painfully ordinary or even invisible. We are middle-class-looking people (or "better") who drive unremarkable but reliable cars, usually conjugate verbs correctly and probably went to college. We might even have jobs and successes that make us seem like we sailed through the flaming hoops of the privilege circus to land there. We look and talk and act like people who have all the hallmarks of a middle-class upbringing, so we are treated that way.

Keep reading...Show less

An Amazing New Use for Ecstasy

The party drug MDMA, colloquially known as the party drug Ecstasy, can be used to cure patients of severe post-traumatic stress disorder, according to a study of experimental testing of combining the drug with psychotherapy. The research, however, was not conducted on war veterans, a group most often associated with PTSD, but with rape victims, who, on average, had been living with their symptoms for 19 years.

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Poor Kids Getting Prescribed ADHD Meds They Don't Need, Against Their Will

Doctors are prescribing prescription pills like Adderall to low-income kids even if they don't "need" drugs to function because it's often the only realistic way to help them do well in school.

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10 Things the GOP Platform Hates About You

This week, finally, after all those nerd-hours expended on wondering just what precious metal and fancy rhetorical jewels would gild the GOP's terrible turd ideas, the official Republican party platform will be revealed to a chorus of gasps, eye rolls, and delighted shrieks from Rick Santorum. According to people who have seen the thing in its entirety, it's the most conservative platform in modern history. Critics call it "angry," "fringe," and "extreme," as it calls for a constitutional amendment banning abortion in the case of rape, bars female soldiers from combat roles, blames sick people for requiring medical care, and officially declares gay marriage to be an abomination. In addition to being a policy compass — an indicator of what sort of laws we can expect from elected Republican officials over the next four years — the new platform is a giddy romp through all the reasons the grand ol' party might hate you.

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Why Smoking Pot Makes Me a Better Mom

The following story first appeared on Jezebel.

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