The Most Bizarre Sex Laws in Our Very Bizarre Country
The following post first appeared io9.com
Is your sex life against the law? Better make sure.
Over on io9, we posted a map of all the weirdest sex laws in the U.S.A. We didn't have room for every weird sex law we found, and some of them we had to shorten a bit to make them fit. So here's the complete, unedited list of sex laws!
Alabama
Incestuous marriages are legal.
Alaska
Moose are banned from having sex on city streets (in Fairbanks).
Arizona
You may not have more than two dildos in the same house.
Arkansas
Flirtation and "lascivious banter" between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jailterm. (in Little Rock.)
California
It's illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts ("boobie pillows") within 1000 feet of a highway.
No man shall dress as a woman without the written permission of the sheriff. (In Walnut, CA)
Colorado
Male massage parlor workers must wear all white clothing. (In Adams County).
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
Florida
Married couples (as well as singles) cannot engage in open "lewdness or lascivious behavior"
Georgia
The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
All sex toys are banned.
Illinois
If you sell a reptile, you must give a written warning not to "nuzzle or kiss" them.
It's prohibited by law to "suffer any bitch or slut" (referring to dogs) (in Minooka.)
Indiana
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
Iowa
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
Kansas
Illegal "sodomy" includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.
Kentucky
Dogs must not molest property or people.
Until 1975, people wearing bathing suits on any city street were required have a police escort.
Louisiana
Necrophilia is legal.
It's illegal to use fortune-telling, astrology or palmistry to "settle lovers quarrels." (In New Orleans.)
Massachusetts
Making noise in a public library is a crime against "chastity, morality, decency and good order."
Michigan
A man who seduces or corrupts an unmarried woman faces five years in prison.
Low-riding pants that expose underwear are a Class B offense. But if they expose butt cleavage, they're a Class A offense. (In Flint.)
Mississippi
It's illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
Adultery or premarital sex results in a fine of $500 or 6 months in prison.
Montana
Prostitution is a "crime against the family."
Nebraska
You can't get married if you have gonorrhea
Nevada
Sale of sex toys is illegal.
New Hampshire
Lingerie must not be hung on a clothesline at the airport, unless there's a screen concealing it. (In Kidderville.)
New Jersey
Flirting is illegal. (In Haddon Township, NJ)
New Mexico
Nudity is allowed as long as genitals and female nipples are covered.
New York
Adultery is illegal.
North Carolina
Adultery is illegal. And so is pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room.
North Dakota
It was illegal to swim naked in the Red River between 8 AM and 8 PM. (In Fargo.)
It's against the law to fail to confine a dog or cat in heat. (In Grand Forks.)
Ohio
No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.
Oklahoma
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to engage in "acts, or simulated acts, of sexual intercourse, masturbation, sodomy, bestiality, oral copulation, flagellation, or any sexual acts which are otherwise prohibited by law." So, no simulated intercourse or animal sex.
Oregon
It's illegal to lie down in a public restroom, or for two people to share a stall meant for one.
Pennsylvania
Oral and anal sex are illegal. You cannot cohabit with an "ancestor or descendant."
South Carolina
If a man promises to marry a woman and she sleeps with him, the marriage must take place.
South Dakota
Public erections are illegal.
Tennessee
Students may not hold hands in school.
Texas
It's illegal to own more than six dildos.
Utah
It's illegal to marry your first cousin before the age of 65 — or 55 if you can prove both parties are infertile.
An adult cannot show sex paraphernalia to a minor, unless they're your own child. (In Salt Lake City.)
Virginia
Adultery is a misdemeanor.
Obscenity is a bigger crime if you use a computer.
Washington
If you give a sex worker a ride to work, your car can be confiscated.
West Virginia
An unmarried couple who lived together and "lewdly associated" could face up to a year in jail. (Recently repealed.)
Top image: THX-1138.