'Don't believe him': Mental health expert tears apart 'self-pitying' Miller

When Sen. Bernie Moreno (R-OH) came forward to denounce his son-in-law, Rep. Max Miller (R-OH), he acted as a father whose daughter Emily accused Miller of physically abusing her and their daughter during their marriage. In theory, Sen. Moreno’s words were the barest minimum one would expect from a father — yet many feel that, all things considered, Moreno’s reaction was extremely weak.

Miller, despite once presenting himself as a moral authority in the Republican Party, has been repeatedly accused of domestic violence. In addition to allegedly attacking Stephanie Grisham, a former press secretary for President Donald Trump, he is also accused of a litany of abuses against his ex-wife Emily Moreno both during and after their marriage. These include claims that he beat Moreno in front of his 2-year-old daughter in February during a custody dispute, bruising Moreno’s arm, elbow and torso; throwing a pot of boiling water on Moreno, scalding her chest and again doing this in the view of their baby; and both breaking his daughter’s collar bone and holding a gun to Moreno’s head during an argument. Moreno has stated that this is far from the full extent of Miller’s abusive behavior; she even accused him of physically attacking one of her attorneys, Andrew Zashin, during a recent hearing. Moreno has since filed for a restraining order.

After remaining silent for months while the accusations against his former son-in-law trickled out, Sen. Moreno responded with a post on Sunday seemingly written in response to Miller’s own public defense on that same day. In his nearly 20-minute long post, Miller denied all of the accusations and characterized them as part of a malicious smear campaign driven by both personal and political ulterior motives. Given the timing of Moreno’s response, it is possible that Miller’s self-pitying rant was a bridge too far for the elder Moreno.

“Accusations dominate headlines while far too little attention has been paid to the facts,” Miller said at a key point in his video. “I've been portrayed as an abusive husband, an abusive father, and a violent man. Those allegations have damaged my reputation, caused enormous pain to my family, and most importantly, it's affected our daughter. Today, I'm on here because I've received dozens of interview requests about this topic, but I've learned from the two that I have already done that the truth will not come out that way.”

Moreno apparently felt the need to contradict Miller’s characterization of himself as the victim of unfair press coverage.

“As a father and husband, I can tell you the last two years have been pure hell for my wife Bridget, our daughter Emily, me, and our entire family in the aftermath of Emily's divorce,” Moreno wrote in a post on X.

“It has been horrific to watch this play out in full public view, all while knowing an innocent two-year-old girl is caught in the middle,” Moreno added. “Our priority has always been protecting our daughter and our granddaughter. Out of concern for the safety of my family, I hoped to keep this matter private but Max Miller’s increasingly erratic and dangerous behavior has made that impossible.”

He continued, “As he has admitted privately, Max Miller needs serious psychological help. He is a danger to my daughter, and I hold my breath every minute he has custody of my granddaughter.”

Then Moreno issued a call for Miller to resign, a decision that could have major political implications because Republicans only control that body by 218 votes to 215 votes.

“If there are any basic standards of character required to hold elected office, Max Miller fails them,” Moreno argued. “He should not serve in the House of Representatives. I believe Max Miller needs to seek professional help to end the clear pattern of abuse he has left in his wake. I believe he should not be free to continue endangering others until he does.”

He concluded, “I ran for office because I wanted to make a difference for the country that gave me every opportunity to succeed, and to leave this nation better for my children and grandchildren. That sacrifice has been especially hard on my wife Bridget, whose big heart and steady support have never wavered. I owe it to her, to Emily, and to my granddaughter to speak the truth now.”

Miller immediately replied with anger to Moreno’s post.

“If my daughter said the same thing to me, I personally wouldn’t wait two years before holding him accountable,” Miller wrote to Moreno on X. “You know this isn’t true and the only reason you are speaking out now is to hide from your own media circus. This is all political.”

The public reaction to the Moreno-Miller public statements has been overwhelmingly negative, albeit for different reasons. The conservative website The Bulwark drew attention to one of the more problematic statements made by Miller, namely that his wife couldn’t have been a victim because she performed traditional domestic duties.

"My former wife has claimed that during a custody exchange at my home that day, I assaulted her,” The Bulwark quoted. “If I had assaulted her, would she have offered to cook me dinner six days later?"

One of The Bulwark’s most prominent commentators, Sam Stein, offered mild praise to Moreno for finally taking a stand against Miller.

“Credit where do [sic],” Stein wrote. “He got there. Says Miller should not be in the house”

Another conservative, former Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), was harsher toward Moreno while ultimately reaching the same conclusion about Miller’s political career.

“If a guy broke my granddaughters collar bone and held a gun to my daughters head, I’d call for more than ‘psychological help,’” Kirzinger posted on X. “That said, @MaxMillerOH needs to leave.”

Over on Bluesky, international relations professor Nicholas Grossman mocked Moreno’s response by paraphrasing it in a manner that highlighted his hypocrisy in both waiting so long to denounce Miller and in not holding Trump to the same standard.

“Sen. Bernie Moreno (paraphrased): On second thought, now that it's clear this is making me personally look awful, I say domestic abuse, lying about it, and failing basic standards of character like that has no place in the Republican Party, except at the top, and some other places too,” Grossman wrote. “Thank you.”

Writer Maura Quint offered a more nuanced take on why the Morenos beyond Emily herself may have taken their time in coming forward.

“Things I and friends have done to calm an angry abusive man from further escalating and killing us or our children,” Quint wrote. She then listed “Smiled; Kept normal schedules in order not to trigger a fight; Appeased with kind acts (cooking, cleaning, favors); and Forced friendly tones and words.”

The Independent's Eric Michael Garcia, meanwhile, noted the silence from other powerful people in the Republican Party, specifically asking “Does Speaker Mike Johnson have anything to say?”

Speaking exclusive to AlterNet about Miller’s statement, Dr. Harriet Fraad — a mental health counselor, hypnotherapist and a woman who has had 55 years of experience who has studied this in depth — said that it is typical of domestic violence offenders.

“This is the usual self-pitying deluge of a person who feels that the real crime is being exposed,” Fraad wrote. Earlier she said, “He broke her collarbone in child abuse. And this is not only his wife, but it's also a girlfriend who reported violence. And so I don't believe him. I think that he's a violent man who's now a frightened man and is covering it up.”

She continued, “Because the idea is — which you can really get from Trump, who's also a rapist [he was found liable for sexually abusing writer E. Jean Carroll] — that they are not an abuser, but rather a victim. Because they feel that the person who told on them is victimizing them. That the victimization is in reporting their behavior, which they want to disavow. That's a betrayal: ‘Keep my secrets. Shut up.’”