The Atlantic's Ashley Parker recently wrote an amusing take on the recently concluded case of Sean Dunn — the 37-year-old Air Force veteran and former Justice Department employee who hurled a Subway sandwich at Gregory Lairmore, a Customs and Border Protection agent.
"Like nearly everything involving Trump, the episode became polarizing, absurdist, stripped of nuance — a Rorschach test for both one’s politics and one’s life experience," Parker wrote, adding "(As someone who in my early 30s lived just off the nightlife corridor near 14th and U Streets where the hoagie histrionics occurred, I initially assumed: Drunk dude, egged on by drunk people, does drunk thing.)"
Speaking anonymously to Parker out of fear of retribution, one juror told her that "She knew from the start that any verdict could be weaponized: A guilty verdict would be a victory for the Trump administration as it tries to stifle criticism of federal overreach in D.C. But a not-guilty verdict could signal that it’s okay to attack federal agents who are trying to do their jobs (or, more picayune, that urban sandwich flinging is an acceptable pastime)."
The juror told Parker it was hard to take the entire case seriously as it had become a viral meme and joke on assorted social media channels.
"On the first question, several jury members struggled to stifle laughter as Lairmore expanded on the hoagie’s alleged explosive properties. 'It was like, Oh, you poor baby,'" the juror said.
The biggest issue to the juror was whether Dunn had caused Lairmore bodily harm with the footlong sub.
“The definition of injury isn’t just bodily harm — it’s offensive touch — and we struggled with that because we all said we’d be offended if a sandwich hit us, but then this agent was standing with about 14 other agents on the corner of 14th and U, all kitted out,” the juror said.
With Lairmore seemingly making light out of the situation, "pointing to several gag gifts — a plush toy sandwich, a Felony Footlong insignia — from his co-workers that he displayed proudly," Parker noted, the juror's "sense that Lairmore didn’t find the incident offensive 'was really a slam dunk.'"
Civilized people, the juror told Parker, do not throw sandwiches at people.
"We teach our kids not to throw things when we’re angry,” she said. “We all struggled with that because he admitted he threw that sandwich. It was not respectful or smart to throw the sandwich.”
The juror says that the trial could have ended in the time it takes to craft a Subway footlong, but they did their due diligence before declaring Dunn not guilty of a misdemeanor, a charge that was dropped from its original felony.
“We probably could have gotten the thing resolved on the first day, but there were two holdouts, and we really didn’t want to steamroll them,” she says. “We wanted them to come to the conclusions on their own and see if they could be convinced to switch their position based on the facts and evidence.”
Dunn, the juror said, is a hero, not a hoagie.
“He’s an unlikely hero, maybe, but he stood up for his beliefs, and I respect that," she said.