'This is kind of a big deal, we think': GOP implores media to 'keep it about Hunter Biden' during first press conference

Guess who may have made up to $640 million from ‘outside income’ while in the White House? It has been less than 24 hours since the Republican Party became the official majority party in the coming term. And while this majority is slim and restricts their abilities, while leaving open the possibilities of some legislative actions for Democrats to continue pursuing, what it does allow them to do is investigate stuff using congressional committee oversight powers.

Guess what the new House Oversight Committee said it would be investigating.

Jan. 6? No.

The billions (with a “B”) Jared Kushner and the Trump family have seemingly been able to secure from countries like China and Saudi Arabia?No.

Literally any pressing matter of national security or growing domestic threat? Nope.

What Americans need, the GOP seems to believe, is a thorough fact-finding mission into Hunter Biden’s laptop! Hillary’s emails and Benghazi are all worn out from the previous time the Republican Party controlled the House, and according to the press conference that the GOP held today, this Biden laptop thing will allow them to investigate and investigate and investigate until they can hopefully take control of the government again and forget about their baseless investigations.

First House Committee on Oversight and Reform Ranking Member Republican James Comer of Kentucky stood in front of the press, flanked by Rep. Jim I-should-be-being-investigated-for-complicity-in-the-sexual-molestation-of-athletes-under-my-charge Jordan. Here are some of the things they did not want to talk about concerning the first order of business for the Republican majority:

• Inflation
• Civil rights
• Abortion
• Policy
• Policy
• Policy

After talking about how Hunter Biden was a drug addict who may or may not have paid sex workers for sex, Comer explained that Hunter Biden may have also used his name to try and get lucrative jobs. Now, you may be asking yourself, how is this something for a Congressional oversight committee to waste time and resources over? Because Comer promises this will be about Joe Biden. Comer then proceeded to say they had secret sources, while not being able to provide a single shred of evidence not already publicly available. None of which implicate President Joe Biden in corruption.

After Comer spoke, Jim I-stayed-quiet-while-young-man-after-young-man-after-young-man-pleaded-with-me-for-help Jordan spoke some more about Hunter Biden and how the FBI needed to also be investigated over this Hunter Biden matter of extreme importance, Comer came back to tell everyone that he only wanted questions about … Hunter Biden.

To be clear, this “investigation” is going to be spent attacking the Department of Justice, the FBI, Hunter Biden, his super “real” laptop, a lot of hyped-up bs about national security, and President Joe Biden, and it is going to stretch for as long as they can possibly stand to talk about it—and that will be a while—on Fox News and OAN, 24/7, with live coverage all the way up to next Election Day.

It will serve a couple of purposes for the GOP. It will allow them to have some conspiracy theory scandal to promote to MAGA-world. It will potentially degrade trust in real criminal and federal investigations into Jan. 6 and the other many and various crimes of the previous administration. It will give the GOP something to do while they don’t create any policy or offer up anything to help Americans who need help. And if they get lucky, milk and/or gas will cost less someday, and they can say they did that, too.