WATCH: Daily Show's Kristen Schaal Lacerates 'Marry Smart' Princeton Mom

"Your eggs are jumping out of your vagina like rats off a sinking ship."

First Jon Stewart eviscerate the so-called news media for taking Princeton Mom, Susan Patton, author of Marry Smart at all seriously when it comes to women's issues. This is the woman who is making the rounds hysterically urging young women to find a husband in college, because they'll never be swimming in a better pool of men.

If you wait until you're in you thirties, says Patton, you'll be competing with women who are ten years younger, "dewy eyed, fresh and adorable."

Enter Kristen Schaal, self-described "dried up old crone" in her 30s. She's there to address the "feminist lie" that women in their 30s are "remotely doable."

It's best to start that search for a husband early, in kindergarten, she suggests . . . to a classroom full of five-year-olds. To one little girl, Schaal holds up a clock and says, "tick tock, that's the sound of your uterus getting older."

She introduces KDate, a dating service for kindergartners. What a brilliant idea! The tagline: "Men are terrible creatures. Get one as soon as you can."

Princeton Mom is kicking herself for not thinking of KDate.


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