News & Politics

DURST: George W's Secret Plan

George W loves his new secret plan to save Social Security -- all the excitement of taking a stand without any of the messy details.
George W has a secret plan to save Social Security. Politicians love secret plans. All the excitement of actually taking a stand without any of the messy intricacies of silly old specifics.

He just released something his aides called "guiding principles" on his little secret plan. And I have a couple of rather minor and inconsequential questions I have for he and his Social Security "guiding principles" that's going to allow people to invest part of their savings in the stock market.

* What percentage of our Social Security payroll taxes will be available to double down on a pair of fives at Fitzgerald's Casino in Reno?

* Which companies will be authorized to handle these negotiations and will their connections to the Bush 2000 campaign be hidden or overt?

* How soon before we baby boomers are forced to live on dented cans of dog food?

* How late into my nineties would I have to wait until drawing Soci,K out and can them as dog food?

* How much weight would I personally have to gain to make sure not to fall through the holes in the safety net?

If Will Durst knew he'd live this long, he would have bought a condo in Kona.