News & Politics

Durst: Drop Dead, Jack

Comic Will Durst on the latest for Dr. Death: "The landlord is trying to close down Dr. Kevorkian's clinic. Didn't know what it was going to be used for. Yeah, right, like Jack Kevorkian is going to open the world's most unusual electrical supplies shop."
Turns out, it's the kind of clinic cabs don't linger around much. Doc's calling it an obitorium. Suicide parlor doesn't have the right marketing ring, I suppose. Or maybe euthanasium sounded too much like chinese gang hangout. Love to see his Yellow Pages listing. "Checking Out? Check Us Out!" Just think, if this idea takes off, knowing the American entrepreneurial spirit, independent franchises are going to blossom like mushroom spores after a spring rain in Iowa. Dew Drop Dead Clinics will litter the Southern rural scene. Motel 86's and Do Yourself Inn's on Edge City Rings. We could be on the verge of a whole new cottage industry, complete with an infomerical starring Leslie Nielsen touting a home do-it-to-yourself kit, which may be redundant, since if you watch enough infomercials you run the risk of dying by nausea.
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