News & Politics

DURST: Rising Stocks

Durst writes: "The stock market hit 8000 the other day and shares of Microsoft led the rally with a gain of $9.97 to close at $148.44, pushing the Redmond, Wash.- based software giant ahead of Coca-Cola to become the second most valuable company in the nation behind General Electric. Bill Gates, also affectionately known as Chairman Bill, Mr. Vaporware and the Gnome Without a Comb, owns 23.7 percent of Microsoft, thus pocketing a cool $2.8 billion for one day's non work. I've heard of making a killing in the stock market, but this would have to qualify as genocide."
The stock market hit 8000 the other day and shares of Microsoft led the rally with a gain of $9.97 to close at $148.44, pushing the Redmond, Wash.- based software giant ahead of Coca-Cola to become the second most valuable company in the nation behind General Electric. Bill Gates, also affectionately known as Chairman Bill, Mr. Vaporware and the Gnome Without a Comb, owns 23.7 percent of Microsoft, thus pocketing a cool $2.8 billion for one day's non work. I've heard of making a killing in the stock market, but this would have to qualify as genocide. Forbes Magazine, which is to rich folks what Vanity Fair is to NPR listeners, and Satellite Week is to trailer courts, recently estimated Gates' wealth at around $38 billion tying him with the Sultan of Brunei for Biggest Swinging Dick in The World, but this 7 percent one day jump puts the Seattle Salamander firmly in first. To get an idea of how much $2.8 billion is, I've compiled a list of things you or I could do with it.*Park in a downtown garage all day.*Order lobster and leave a tip without ever asking what "marketprice" is.*Buy a car without spending eight hours talking to various"managers".*Book a same day cross country coach seat and pay for it right atthe ticket counter.*Take a weeklong vacation for four to Disneyland with passes to thePark for 3 WHOLE DAYS. Food and SpectraVision not included. *Complete insurance coverage on both cars including full liabilityand theft.*Buy new pair of shoes without even trying them on.*Make long distance phone calls during the middle of the day.Will Durst dreams of making long distance phone calls during the midde of the day.
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