News & Politics

DURST: Newt Departure

Well, it finally happened. Newt Gingrich quit and packed up his little Speaker's gavel and went home. He's nothing but a big girl. "You guys don't like me anymore." Hey Newt, we never liked you. And what took you so long? Just goes to prove, when the going gets tough, the tough go home. He was perfectly cast as the brick throwing back bencher. But as a bona fide leader he became a target bigger than a blue bull in a bathtub. Real similar to a baboon's butt. The higher he climbed the tree, the harder it was to look at him. You know who you got to feel sorry for? All those guys who donated money to his Congressional race only to have him serve zero days before running back home and hiding under the covers. And it probably doesn't help that Clinton's Monica Strategy worked. The very event that was going to strike down the President boomeranged. How ironic is it that? Lewinsky goes down on Bill and Newt loses his job. It's the weirdest turn of events in the history of partisan politics. Clinton gets a blow job and Newt is the one who goes down for it. Proving that not only is Bill the luckiest guy on the face of the earth but also the ultimate CEO. But the biggest loss is also his, and I'm sure he's shopping for a new villain right now.Will Durst will miss Newt only a fraction less than Bill Clinton.
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Election 2018