News & Politics

DURST: UN Inspectors, AKA, the Yo-Yo Gang

"B-B-Back in the rude Iraqi bars. You don't know how lucky you are boys. Back... in the rude Iraqi bars." Those lucky UN Inspectors, AKA, the Yo-Yo Gang, are on the job again playing Saddam's weird version of the Shell Game. You know, the one where if you pick the right shell, you have to leave the room. "Anything over there?" "No. Go look." "Okay, anything over behind the dresser?" "Nope. Go ahead, have a peek." "How bout under the sink?" "You must get out now." We were a mere half hour from launching Tomahawk missiles and igniting Desert Storm II; "This Time It's Personal." And after canceling it, Bill had to puff up like a blowfish with a helium nozzle for the benefit of our disappointed boys. "We will renew plans for airstrikes if Saddam breaks his promise." If Saddam breaks his promise? If? Isn't that like saying "if a wounded cornered weasel growls?" "If Don King gets accused of shady business practices?" "If Stephen King writes another book where weird stuff goes down?" "If Larry King gets divorced?" I wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw hot glue. Hussein, not King.Not that Will Durst trusts those King boys all that much either.
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