News & Politics

WMDs or no WMDs? That Ain't the Question

I have this burning desire to hear him say it out loud. "Sorry, my mistake."
"Ooops, my bad." Is that too much to ask? That's all I want the President to say. I know the chances of prying an apology from a politician are about the same as extracting infected molars from a wolverine with a pair of chopsticks, but still I have this burning desire to hear him to say it out loud. "Sorry, my mistake." Now that it's clear no weapons of mass destruction will be found, he claims never to have said the threat was imminent. To which I can only say, "Yeah, right, and formica is edible."

The new party line is that Saddam could have had weapons of mass destruction. WMDs have suddenly turned into WMD "program related activities." Which is a mite different than being able to "launch a biological or chemical attack in as little as 45 minutes." Of course you have to remember this "could have" information comes from the very same people who, a year ago, relished branding anybody with the temerity to disagree as being nothing but substandard tools of the Dark Prince himself. And no, I'm not talking about Dick Cheney.

Back then, Saddam possessed voluminous amounts of Weapons of Mass Destruction and was aiming them at us with his shaky, crazy finger hovering over the button. Pretty soon we'll find out our "evidence" comes from a waitress who found the words "weapons," "mass" and "destruction" doodled on the back of a Hooters menu in what one guy, who went to Baghdad once, thinks looks a little something like Saddam's handwriting.

Bush had "no doubt" his intelligence was correct. Well, there's your problem right there. He never has any doubt. Grew up without doubt. He had no doubt his tax cuts for the wealthy were going to stimulate the economy. No doubt the deficit was going to magically morph into a surplus. No doubt we can take policemen off the streets and use the money to send a man to Mars. If you ask me, the man needs to cultivate a little doubt. Unless he's the man going to Mars, that is. Hell, I'd hold a series of bake sales to fund that project myself.

You can tell almost smell the desperation when the administration trumpets the fact that Bill Clinton also thought Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Bush citing Clinton as a credible source? There you go. Like Pat Robertson buying a fringed leather skirt because it looked good on Christina Aguilera.

Bush has even been forced to call for an investigation into his own intelligence. And you know what's going to happen: They're not going to find anything.

Will Durst wonders if letting Bush pick the panel that investigates him will lead to allowing Martha Stewart stock her jury with women from Connecticut.
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