News & Politics

A Plan for CEO Pay

There's an economic indicator soaring up, up, and awaaaaayyy: It's the pay of CEOs!
Is there no up-tick in the economy to bring us cheer? Wages are stagnant, jobs are down, stock prices are in the ditch, corporate profits are sliding ... but, wait, here it is, just when you thought nothing was on the rise, here's an economic indicator soaring up, up, and awaaaaayyy: It's the pay of CEOs!

Even if a company's stock plummets, its workers are fired, and its accountants are under federal investigation for cooking the books and looting the pension fund -- the boss hog is still wallowing in the big bucks, now taking an average of more than $11 million a year in personal pay.

Well, the bosses oink, we deserve it -- besides, we're just being paid what the market will bear. It's how capitalism works, so get over it.

But hold it right there, bucko. Doesn't capitlalism now operate in a global market? Haven't you been telling us that you don't have to pay fair wages to American workers, because you can roam the global labor market and get workers for, say, 13-cents an hour in China -- or even import skilled software engineers from, say, India to work for a third of the pay of U.S. workers?

Yes, you have. So here's my plan: Let's import CEOs! We can get them a whole lot cheaper from abroad -- and get good ones, too. Did you know that the top bosses of major corporations in Europe, Japan, Latin America and elsewhere are delighted to do CEO work for only a million or two a year.

American corporate bosses now are hauling away about 500 times the pay of a typical worker in their corporations -- not exactly a plus for company morale. But the ethic in other countries is much more fair -- bosses in Mexico, for example, are paid only 45 times what the typical worker makes, in England it's 25 times, and Japan it's 10 times.

So come on you boards of directors start thinking out-of-the-box and applying a little global competition to the executive suite. Isn't that how capitalism works?
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