News & Politics

Ollie To Invade Grenada

Many of us remember Ronald Reagan as the fearless "Conqueror of Grenada!"
Many of us remember Ronald Reagan as the fearless "Conqueror of Grenada!"

His was not exactly a Great War, a Big One, or even a necessary one, except that maybe the Reaganauts felt it was politically necessary, since it was 1983 and the Gipper could use a splendid little victory against Russia's "Global Commie Empire" as he headed into his '84 re-election campaign. So Reagan chose to beat up on the people of this little isolated, poverty-stricken, Caribbean island. Thousands of U.S. troops, backed by a bomber assault, stormed ashore on Grenada. Calling it "Operation Urgent Fury," Reagan's forces quickly overwhelmed the feeble local forces, and -- By Gollies -- conquered Grenada!

Now this poor island is to be invaded by the U.S. again. Not by troops, but by tourists who will pay to be part of a Reagan nostalgia tour aboard a cruise ship. This invasion is a promotional event for the Freedom Alliance, a right-wing group headed by former-felon Ollie North. As announced on the website of the alliance: "Oliver North -- who helped plan 'Operation Urgent Fury' from the White House situation room -- will lead us on a private tour of the island."

Scary. Ollie and an army of plaid-clad geezers storming your island? This could be worse than being shot at! Speaking of shooting, the cruise is co-hosted by the NRA. Also, as part of the oldies theme, Reagan's old, liberty-busting attorney general, Ed Meese, will be on board to tell his old war stories.

Ironically, Reagan's official rationale for his Grenada assault was that Cuban commies were on the island. This is ironic because the Cubans are still there. Reagan brought war to the island, then left, the Cubans came back and, far from being a menace, have helped the impoverished Grenadians with such basic needs as building a new hospital. If any members of Ollies tourist brigade get sick, they could be treated there for free.

Now there's a lesson in international relations: Make health, not war.
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