News & Politics

Selling Iraq

Bush is having a helluva time selling the War with Iraq. It wouldn't be surprising if Barak isn't returning his calls.
So, the deal is, Bush the Two has run into a couple of eeensy teensy stumbling blocks trying to pawn off his new improved Iraqi invasion to any and or all appropriate buyers. The first is: nobody wants it. And the other: he's unable to explain exactly what it is he's selling. You can't say he isn't giving it the old college try though. Overnight he's been possessed by the spirit of a hyperactive insurance salesman wearing a bad plaid suit in a beat up Taurus with a telescoping clothes rack stretched across the back seat. Talking the ears off of anyone who wants to listen. Or doesn't. The other day he recited his skewed actuarial charts in front of a decidedly cool Congressional Leadership Caucus and now he's on his way to the biggest cold call of his life: the United Nations. The big problem: it's a buyers market. And for quite possibly the first time in his life, this Texas boy's timing's off.

See, back when Clinton was President, now, there was your sellers market mister. But now, whew. Not that the economy isn't getting better. Of course it is. The Dow is I mean, the unemployment figures are, that is anyhow, trust us, it's getting better. It's darn near good.

But, what's his reason? He can't tell us. It's not that he doesn't want to. He'd love to, but see, its a secret. Shhhh! Keeps telling people he knows something nobody else knows. Whatever it is, I think we can pretty much rule out math. The old default argument isn't sticking: we have to strike pre-emptively to stop the stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction, because that logic leaves Delaware vulnerable to an air strike eliminating Dow Chemical as a threat. Of course it doesn't help every major ally of ours would rather import a couple of container cars of the West Nile Virus than throw in with us. George has so little support on this I wouldn't be surprised to find out the Barak isn't returning his calls. I doubt Laura's buying into it. "Jeez, I don't know George, don't you think this a little sudden?" Even the twins got to be wondering if this isn't a little reckless. And if all that weren't enough, Dad's former staff keeps going on TV muttering discouraging words. Very un-Home on the Range.

Which, at the end of the day, has to be the most galling part since all he's trying to do is finish up one of Poppy's unfinished chores. "Top of the world, Dad, top of the world."

Put Will Durst down as totally in favor of that whole Delaware deal.

Don't forget to see Durst as just another little chuckle pellet in the whole comedy panapoly that is the New Orleans Comedy Festival all this week in the 504 area code. He and Debi fly down on September 11th. Unh hunh.
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