Sex & Relationships

Check Out the ‘Harry Potter Sex Box’

It’s never too late to dirty up a childhood favorite.

Photo Credit: Unbound

J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone first hit the U.S. 18 years ago. And while we can probably all point to a few Harry Potter fans who started as adults, that could be framed as a happy accident—because the books that started the $15 billion brand were written with one specific demographic in mind: children, ages 8-12.

Today, the kids who grew up with the Harry Potter books are somewhere in their late 20s or early 30s. Between HP-themed merchandise, movies and even tattoos, the brand has barely collected enough dust to merit nostalgia for grownup fans.

So perhaps it's inevitable that the long-lived brand has penetrated porn. Google helped introduce me to no less than three Harry Potter-themed porn parodies: Harry Twatter, Whorrey Potter & The Sorcerer’s Balls and Carrie Potter and the Philosopher’s Bone.

Now, the Harry Potter craze is hitting the sex toy market. Sex toy subscription service Unbound recently released its wizard-themed Magic Wand Box. The kit includes a Gryffindor on the Streets, Slytherin in the Sheets swag bag. Because if you’re going to walk around with a bunch of condoms, you may as well keep them in the most innocuous place possible.

The kit also includes a pair of Deathly Hallows panties, which we can add to the growing collection of Harry Potter panties already available. There’s also a “magic wand,” but unlike the ones you would find at Ollivanders, this one comes with a two-speed vibe and will spend most of its time pointed directly at your genitals. For gentlemen looking to give their magic wands a more corporeal identity, there are glow-in-the-dark condoms. And we wouldn’t want to forget about the modern-day Marauder’s Map, which features 10 key erogenous zones with instructions on how to “best tease and titillate each one.”

Right now, the kit is priced at $36, which isn’t bad, considering there’s no price too high to dirty up a childhood favorite. Just look at what the Bronies did to Twilight Sparkle. 

Carrie Weisman is a writer focusing on sex, relationships and culture. 

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