Sex & Relationships

Lesbian Sex Haikus (With Cats!)

A few samples of AlterNet's favorite sex and relationship writer Anna Pulley's hilarious and poignant poetry from her new book.

Photo Credit: Illustration by Kelsey Beyer

Editor's note: Anna Pulley is one of the best sex and relationship writers going and a much-appreciated contributor to AlterNet. She has just published her debut book, The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!), the definitive tome on the subject. It is as tender, hilarious and wise as her other articles which clarify an awful lot about female sexuality, lesbian sex, women and porn and other burning topics. The best-selling writer Cheryl Strayed described Anna's book like this: "Smart, funny, tender, sexy, hilariously inventive, and oddly educational. This is a must-read for anyone who’s ever been there and done that.” You can buy a copy here, (and check out illustator Kelsey Beyer's work) here.

Enjoy a sampling of Anna's haikus:  

How Lesbian Sex Works

It's like straight sex, but

with more slouchy blazers and

Pink dance remixes.


What do two women
do in bed together, really?
Two words: gin rummy.


It's like straight sex, but
by "sex," I mean deconstructing

Lesbian sex is
like water polo—no one
really knows the rules.

It's like straight sex, but
first we have to consult our
lunar calendars.


What a spirited
flogging! Maybe next time no
GMO lecture?


We don't have sex, silly

We're far too busy
slowly shedding our matching
cheerleading outfits.

For the love of all
that's sacred, it's called foreplay.
Think outside my box.

How lesbians discuss porn

"Of course I loved Crash
Pad's Fisting: Lend a Hand, but
the book was better."


Anna Pulley writes about sex and queerness. Find more at