Sex & Relationships

5 Steps to Achieving an Amazing Prostate-Assisted Orgasm

It can blow you away.

When most of us were taught about sex, we understood one basic principle: sexual satisfaction for men is delivered through their exterior genitalia, while women achieve it internally. But it looks like men were sold short with that explanation, because another powerful pleasure center exists inside the male body. Prostate-assisted orgasms aren’t as widely publicized as the penile version. But there is an enthusiastic community of people who have experienced the wildly intense and lengthy orgasms they can deliver. There is a reason, after all, why the sex toy industry seems to be overflowing with prostate stimulators (“progasms” as they’re sometimes called), massagers and plugs.

For some, this realm remains a largely unexplored, uncomfortable territory. It’s for this group that we bring the five steps to achieving an amazing prostate-assisted orgasm.

1. Prep For It

Anytime butt play is involved, it’s important to take the right precautions. Things have a tendency of getting messy when this region of the body is involved, but an easy routine can help sexual participants avoid embarrassing incidents. For the man looking to achieve a prostate-assisted orgasm, douching is probably a good idea. The process flushes your body of all junk so you don’t have to worry about it coming out during sex. It wouldn’t hurt to follow up with a shower.

The penetrator should also take some polite measures to maximize his or her partner’s experience. The skin around the anus is sensitive, and can tear easily, so trim nails, and clean hands are a must. Couples may want to arm themselves with paper towels, and rubber gloves (for those who aren’t fluid-bonded with their partners).

2. Lube Up, Warm Up

Unlike a vagina, the anus isn’t designed for penetration. So lots of lube is welcome, and should be continuously applied throughout your rendezvous. For those who aren’t accustomed to being penetrated, a little warmup can go a long way. Prepare your partner for penetration by grazing the butt cheeks, stroking the shaft and massaging the anus (which is loaded with as many nerve endings as your erogenous zones). Other notoriously sensual areas are the nipples and the ears, but everyone is different. The best way to figure out where your partner wants to be caressed is by asking. 

3. Diamonds are a Guy’s Best Friend: Finding Your Target

Finding the prostate may be a bit of a puzzle for those who haven’t done it before. But it’s not so hard. Because the prostate swells when aroused, it’s best to start the process when already aroused. The prostate can be located externally via the perineum (the diamond-shaped area between the scrotum and the anus). It’s possible for your partner to reach orgasm simply by applying pressure to the area and administering a generous massage. But for those who prefer a more direct approach, penetration is the way to go. The prostate is located about two inches below the rectum toward the scrotum. After inserting a finger (or two if you’re feeling comfortable) you should feel a chestnut-sized ball. Moving the finger(s) in a “come hither” motion toward his navel can stimulate the prostate to the point of orgasm.

4. Use Your Muscles

We’ve all heard of Kegels, but what most people don’t realize is that both sexes can benefit from this kind of exercise. The Pubococcygeus (PC) muscles not only help men maintain control over urination and blood flow to the penis, but can help them during orgasm as well. Much like the female G-spot orgasm, prostate-assisted orgasms are achieved and maintained through a series of muscle contractions, so strengthening this area is key. There are a bunch of different ways you can help do this, but one of the most effective seems to be clenching your butt cheeks and anus (we all know how to hold in a fart, right?). The more control you have over these muscles the longer your orgasm can last.

5. Don’t Forget About The Toys!

Sure, it’s great to have a partner who can lend a hand (literally). But there’s a whole market for people who go at it solo. The Aneros Progasm Prostate Massager seems to be leading the way when it comes to prostate-assisted orgasms. The Aneros is a relatively small (3.5 inches), wavy-shaped device that users can easily insert into the anus. It comes equipped with a finger loop for easy removal and a “p-tab” that nestles up against the perineum for extra pleasure. By clenching their butt cheeks, users pivot the device forward, allowing for contact with the prostate. When the muscles relax, the device reverts back to its stationary position. This stroking motion is what stimulates the “p-spot” and allows for hands-free, toe-curling orgasms. And you don’t have to stop there. A lot of guys also enjoy wearing a cock ring during prostate play.

Other Benefits

Prostate-assisted pleasure comes with lots of other benefits aside from experiencing an amazing and undiscovered orgasm. The process helps flush out the prostate and increases blood flow to the pelvic area. This can help decrease impotence and provide some cancer prevention.

Apart from the intensity, the most appreciated aspect of prostate-assisted orgasms has to be that they allow for multiple orgasms (no more female envy!). With prostate-assisted orgasms, many men will experience “dry orgasm” meaning they don’t ejaculate. Ejaculation needs a refractory period; orgasm does not. 

Penetrative orgasm is something that appeals to both gay and straight men. Unfortunately, homophobia and outdated sexual values seem to have put a damper on general public dialogue on the matter. The process of prostate-assisted orgasm allows men to step outside cemented gender roles, hand the sexual reins over to a different driver and experience a new dimension of satisfaction. As professional dominatrix Margaret Corvid writes, “It’s an opportunity for men to enjoy the receptivity and vulnerability of being penetrated, which is a fulfilling part of sexuality that is largely off-limits to men in mainstream sexual culture.” 

Carrie Weisman is a writer focusing on sex, relationships and culture. 

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