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I’ve got the hots for a bad, bad man

Dear Cary,

I have never written to an advice columnist before. Out of all of the ones I know of, online and off, you are the one I trust the most because of your compassionate and spirited wisdom.

I am a 40-something woman, and I am obsessed with someone who is wrong. This person is someone I know I will never meet, someone who is young enough to be my son, and someone who is accused of an act which is not only extremely stupid but downright murderous.

My logical side (which I personify as Mr. Spock and Mr. Data from "Star Trek") tells me all of the reasons why I should not care one bit about this person: 1) He's too young, 2) We don't have much in common, and 3) I am already married.

I love my husband, I feel I'm lucky to have found him, and I want to protect our marriage. I would never cheat on him with a real person. However, our sex life is nearly nonexistent, perhaps because of age. I have suggested he go to the doctor, but he won't go even for an annual checkup. Until I became obsessed with the young man, my sex drive was not what it used to be, either. Now, it's strong and eager -- and it has no place to go.

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