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Breaking: Not all gays are alike!

Every now and then, a news headline that's so bottomlessly dumb -- and not even from HuffPo -- it makes us wonder if there's an editorial directive out there to State the Obvious. In the aftermath of an historic week for LGBT rights, we bring you this recent gem: A USA Today story that reveals "Not all gays and lesbians want to marry, research shows." You don't say!

USA Today isn't exactly a bastion of profound insight – it's best known as the newspaper you find outside your hotel room door in the morning. But it still deserves a very special shoutout for condescending, heterosplaining crap anyway. In the story, Sharon Jayson says that "Just because same-sex couples can legally marry doesn't mean they will" and that "marriage isn't for everyone." Whoa whoa whoa SLOW DOWN, USA Today. The Supreme Court didn't just make marriage mandatory for every homosexual in America? Jayson goes on to quote a University of Minnesota researcher who observes, "Some gays and lesbians clearly want to get married, but others are unsure or reject marriage for themselves." I feel a "The more you know" rainbow coming on here.

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