Personal Health

Samantha Bee Scorches Trump and Church-Owned Hospitals Whose Abortion Views Take America Back Centuries

"Decisions affecting millions of vaginas are being determined by people who have never owned one or touched one."

Right after their "orgy of mutual loathing," also known as the final presidential debate, Clinton and Trump attended the annual Al Smith Dinner in New York. Unfortunately, neither was pleasant for the presidential nominees.

"The event forced them almost as close together as Maria Bartiromo's show stealing ta-tas," joked "Full Frontal" host Samantha Bee.

"Was it awkward, no, not at all," the host added before playing a clip of Trump accusing Hillary of pretending to hate Catholics and getting kicked off the Watergate Commission, for which he was booed by the Al Smith audience. 

"Trump shocked a Catholic cardinal, and cardinals have seen some sick sh*t," Bee pointed out. 

But while the Catholic church may be a powerful peacemaker, "their big growth lately is in hospital mergers," she revealed. 

Catholic hospitals have become the largest non-profit healthcare provider in the US, with 1 out of every 6 patients in the US being cared  for by a Catholic hospital.

Make no mistake, "Catholic hospitals provide excellent care until your medical needs conflict with their dogma," Bee continued. 

Unfortunately, this also means that these hospitals can no longer provide abortions even if the mother's life is in danger, perform sterilization or provide contraception.

"Decisions affecting millions of vaginas are being determined by people who have never owned one or touched one," blasted Bee. 

The host then revealed a horrifying tale that sounds right out of the Middle ages, in which a nun was excommunicated for saving a life... in modern day Arizona. 


Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.

Sign Up!
Get AlterNet's Daily Newsletter in Your Inbox
+ sign up for additional lists
Select additional lists by selecting the checkboxes below before clicking Subscribe:
Election 2018