News & Politics

Samantha Bee Read Ivanka Trump's Appalling New Book So You Don't Have To

Ivanka's new book "contains more fonts than original thoughts."

Photo Credit: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee/YouTube

Ivanka Trump's new book, "Women Who Work," has been universally trashed but perhaps never quite as spectacularly as it was on Wednesday's episode of "Full Frontal."

"What was the secret to Ivanka's success?" quipped host Samantha Bee. "We had no idea!"

The first daughter and "human tooth-whitening strip" "broke the glass ceiling for how many conflicts of interest a West Wing staffer can have," Bee noted. "[But] if there's one thing the author inherited from her dad—besides absolutely everything—it's his recipe for word salad."

Ivanka's horrifying manual for working women frequently uses the word "architect" as a verb. 

"Learn how to architect a sentence, that's not how you language," the "Full Frontal" host joked.

The New York Times has called Trump's book—which cites over 200 authors and thinkers—"a strawberry milkshake of inspirational quotes."

"Practically every word that isn't I, Trump, or architecting, is cribbed from or another self-help book," Bee explained. 

Trump's "vision-boarding" of other people's ideas and stamping her name on them was just part of the family brand, right? Wrong. 

"One particular regrettable passage [is her use of] a Toni Morrison quote about the devastating impacts of black slavery to start a chapter called, 'Working Smarter' that asks 'Are you a slave to your time or the master of it?'" observed Whoopi Goldberg on "The View" last week. 

"Oh, no," Bee jeered. "When Whoopi Goldberg is sighing at you, things have gone horribly wrong."


Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.

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