Watch: Colbert Lambasts Exxon's 'Drunk Guy' Cleanup Techniques For Arkansas Oil Spill

"You just throw some paper towels down on whatever you spilled and just get out of there."

Photo Credit: Comedy Central

On his show last night, Stephen Colbert lambasted ExxonMobil’s mishandling of the oil spill in Mayflower, Arkansas. The host went after the corporation’s indefensible lack of transparency and some of its more questionable clean-up tactics.

“Why haven’t we heard anything about thw cleanup of that rupture in the Pegasus pipeline that spilled 150,000 gallons of tar sand oil?” Colbert posed, “Well that’s because Exxon has contained the cleanup [pause] coverage by threatening to have reporters arrested for trespassing.”

Colbert also noted that the FAA ordered a no fly zone over the spill, which everyone is respecting, “especially the birds.” The show’s graphics team flashed an image of a critter of the sky grounded by a coat of oil.

The host continued playing footage taken by activist group Tar Sands Blockade showing some of Exxon’s clean up ideas. In one clip, workers can be seen power-washing oil into storm drains.

“Of course the oil is going into the storm drains. They’re just putting back in the ground where it came from,” Colbert quipped, “It’s called recycling, duh.”

One of the most mind-boggling images shows an oil-soaked road covered by quilted paper-towel sheets.

“See, Exxon is employing a time-honored cleanup technique pioneered by drunk guys. You just throw some paper towels down on whatever you spilled and just get out of there,” Colbert observed, “Of course there are other drunk guy options like hiding the spill with a strategically-placed coffee table, or better yet, just flip Arkansas over like a couch cushion.”