Election 2016

Samantha Bee's Hilarious ‘Vagina Monologue’ Could Be the Best Takedown of Trump's P*ssygate So Far

"Trump doesn't ask for anything, and that includes permission."

Photo Credit: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee/YouTube

On Monday, following the fallout from the second presidential debate and the leaked tape that preceded it, Samantha Bee came out swinging.

The "Full Frontal" host did not hold back when reflecting on Donald Trump’s disgusting commentary and sought to clarify what some Trump supporters have dismissed as "locker room" banter. 

In discussing grabbing women "by the p*ssy," as he did on the Access Hollywood bus in 2005, "Trump was literally explaining a time-tested strategy for sexual assault," Bee explained.

“Let’s stop that hostile work environment training module here and discuss what we’ve seen,” Bee said about the video. “In less than a minute, these two leering dildos turned their rape culture banter into a rape culture power move that demeaned and violated Zucker [the victim] in ways she is only now finding out about.”

But just how many men talk like this when they're alone? 

“We know this is shocking for most normal men,” Bee explained. “But every woman I know has had some entitled testosterone monster grab her like a human bowling ball.”

Trump's tic-tac plan may be the most detailed plan he's ever described, as Bee points out. And his video statement issued shortly after the tape's release didn't help remedy the fact that Trump never asks for forgiveness on his own because he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong.

"Trump doesn't ask for anything, and that includes permission before putting his unwelcomed tic-tac-crusted mouth-hole on a female he barely knows," Bee noted.

Unfortunately for cable show hosts and journalists covering the story, Trump's language was a bit too salacious to air, leaving them to conveniently gloss over his remarks after the story broke. Bee had some tough talk for them too.

“It must be so hard to make 24 hours of television without saying the words: c*nt, snatch, cooter, silk purse, spicy taco, lady pocket...hoohoo, trim, vajayjay, bearded clam, front bottom, nether region, sin grotto...red lobster, beaver, fur burger...downstairs retreat, honey pot, inner sanctum, sugar walls, peach blossom, lady treasure, roast beef curtains, gray gardens—oh! I almost forgot the most important one: box," the "Full Frontal" host rattled off in her own literal "vagina monologue." 


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Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.