Election 2016

WATCH: Colbert Roasts Ben Carson for Being Bad at Murder—and His Entire Campaign Strategy

Carson announced last week that he saw no path to the White House ... or to anything else.

Stephen Colbert lambasted GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson. "These days, you can get medical marijuana if you suffer from things like anxiety, nausea and depression," said the "Late Show" host. "And you know who could use a prescription? Every voter in America. Because this campaign season has been brutal."

He compared the election season thus far to the Hunger Games, then corrected himself, saying, "No, it's worse than that — it's the Hungry for Power Games ... and last week, yet another tribute fell."

Carson announced he was leaving the race after putting his campaign on hold earlier in the week. But on Friday Carson reemerged at CPAC, the biggest annual conservative conference, held in Washington, D.C. — only to give his oddest speech ever.

"You know, there's a lot of people who love me," announced the retired neurosurgeon. "They just won't vote for me."

"You know the old saying," Colbert said. "Love means never having to say you're sorry you voted for Ben Carson," who hadn't won a single state.

"I'm not a politician. I don't want to be a politician," Carson once said when he announced his campaign.

"Wish granted!" exclaimed Colbert. "Some in capital city were surprised he didn't put up more of a fight, given his inspiring story about a childhood knife fight," the host reminded us. "I had a large camping knife and I tried to stab him, but the knife blade broke and he fled in terror," Carson told reporters in mid-1996.

"Sadly, voters just don't trust someone who was bad at murder," said Colbert.

Watch: How did Ben Carson start and end his campaign?

Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.

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