Election 2016

Shocking Hulk Hogan Sex Tape: A Librul Conspiracy?!!

The celebrity wrestler is a high-profile Romney backer. So you know where this is going.

Hulk Hogan visits Fox & Friends in Tampa during the 2012 Republican National Convention.

You know you've been in the business of covering the right for too long when you find yourself predicting the next great right-wing conspiracy theory. And here I sit, pondering the pending outrage that will likely greet the sex tape of Romney endorser Hulk Hogan getting it on with a woman who may or may not be his best friend's ex-wife, posted yesterday on Gawker.

As reported by Gawker's A.J. Daulerio, the video footage, whose existence was first reported by TMZ, was sent to him on a DVD by an anonymous source. Daulerio then describes the action in the film in an unfortunate level of minute detail, failing to note that Hogan IS A HIGH-PROFILE ROMNEY BACKER. You see where I'm going with this?

Here's Daulerio:
Up top, you'll see one minute from the 30 minutes of footage taken of 59-year-old Hulk Hogan, professional wrestler, Real Life American Hero to many, [having intercourse] with a woman rumored to be the ex-wife of his best friend, a famous radio DJ named Bubba the Love Sponge. This footage was stealthily circulated last April. TMZ reported its existenceThe Dirty showed some screen shots, and Hulk lawyered up because he claims he was "secretly filmed." Last week, a burned DVD copy of Hulk having sex with the woman rumored to be Heather Clem (Bubba's ex-wife), was delivered to us through an anonymous source. They wanted no payment. They wanted no credit. Their only request was that we watch it. So I did—all 30:17 of it—and hyperbole aside, it's a goddamn masterpiece.
And those Gawker readers, like they even TRY to get it. No, they're all about the fact that Daulerio describes the Hulkster's member as being the size of a Thermos. But you 'n' me -- we know what's really going on here, right?
Gawker posted that video exactly 356 days after Hulk Hogan went on Fox & Friends to say that he was no longer an Obama supporter. I'm sure that 356 means something, but I can't quite remember what right now. Anyway, take my word for it. And then, in August, Hogan went on Fox & Friends again to declare his support for Mitt Romney (and promote his beach shop in Tampa) during the Republican National Convention.
Here's what the libs are surely going after him for: Hulk said of comments the president made about small businesses:
"That goes against everything I feel, know and love about this country."
You know they had it in for him then, right? First, polls. Thenjobs numbers. Now this.
Well, you get the gist. Now, I wonder whether Romney will disavow Hogan's support, just like he repudiated Ted Nugent's invitation to Obama to "suck on my machine gun" -- but oh, wait, he didn't repudiate that.
And the religious right. Do you think they'll care?
Yeah, about as much as they cared about Romney pivoting to the center, being all Mr. Bipartisan Massachusetts Health Care in the presidential debate. And even better than Mitt, the Hulk wears a cross.
Waiting for that Rick Santorum snuff tape -- you know, the one where he kills Big Bird.

Adele M. Stan is a weekly columnist for The American Prospect. Follow her on Twitter @addiestan.

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