Drugs

Here Are the DEA’s 10 Most Ludicrous Slang Terms for Marijuana

America’s narcs are light-years out of touch.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons/Max Pixel

Those hipsters at the Drug Enforcement Administration are at it again. Each year they come out with a list of Drug Slang Code Words, and now we have the 2018 version in hand. The list is designed to help law enforcement decipher criminal jargon and to crack cases, but it's more likely to make readers crack up.

Some of the entries are common slang of the type seen in newspaper headlines (pot, grass, weed), some are foreign words that mean "marijuana" (maconha, mota, pakalolo), some are based on place names (Acapulco Gold, BC Bud, Jamaican Red, Mexican Brown), and some are simply strain names (Blue Cheese, Girl Scout Cookies, Grand Daddy Purp).

But some are simply ridiculous and appear to lack any actual basis for being included. Here are 10 of the silliest DEA slang terms for weed—and remember, your tax dollars paid for this list.

  1. Airplane. Inexplicable. Urban Dictionary has a listing for the 1980 comic movie classic Airplane, the song Airplanes by rapper b.o.b., actually airplanes, and a sex act too gross to reprint here, but not a mention of marijuana.

  2. Bambalachacha. Really? It shows up in a 2007 entry in Urban Dictionary and a couple of other slang dictionary entries using the exact same phrasing and sentence example, but other than that, nada.

  3. Burritos Verdes. This must be marijuana slang so hip it isn't even on the internet, but if you search for it, you'll find a mouth-watering recipe for "Smothered Slow Cooker Chile Verde Pork Burritos."

  4. Gigglesmoke. This was a term once used for marijuana, but the last time anybody actually heard it was probably at a Louis Armstrong concert in the 1930s.

  5. Hairy Ones. Somebody was pulling the DEA's leg. This could conceivably be a reference to the pistils on female flowers (or to hippyish pot smokers), but there is no sign of anybody actually using this term with reference to weed. Virtuoso jazz fusion guitarist John McLaughlin, though, recorded several EPs with studio musicians as the Hairy Ones in the mid-1960s.

  6. Love Nuggets. Buds are sometimes called "nugs," but we don't know who's using this variation. Urban Dictionary defines the term as "a dude's balls, preferably utilized toward a female to entice her" and there was a 2014 campaign in Britain to improve relationships that used the term to mean "everyday acts of love [that] can lead to a happier, healthier and stronger relationship, even more than big gestures like chocolates or expensive holidays.” Neither has anything to do with weed.

  7. Mowing the Lawn. Etymologically, this could be linked to "grass," but there's no evidence of that. Urban Dictionary has a number of entries, but they're all linked to sex. The first entry relates to shaving one's public area, and it goes downhill from there.

  8. Pocket Rocket. This is 1950s truck driver slang for prescription amphetamines. Urban Dictionary has some more recent usages dealing with either erect penises or petite women, but nothing about weed. DEA needs to keep its drugs straight.

  9. Shrimp. Nope. A Google search turns up several YouTube videos about cannabis and shrimp cooking recipes, but Urban Dictionary reports no usage of the term in regard to marijuana. There isa 2009 post, however, that says shrimp is a term for a new drug "stronger than Ecstasy" but whose "primary component is methadone."

  10. Smoochy Woochy Poochy. Do they just make this stuff up? This sounds like an excessively romantic dog, and we can't find anybody actually using this to refer to marijuana.

This article was produced by Drug Reporter, a project of the Independent Media Institute.

 

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Phillip Smith has been a drug policy journalist for the past two decades. Smith is currently a senior writing fellow at the Independent Media Institute