Drugs

The DEA's Top 10 Most Insanely Ridiculous Slang Terms for Weed

When was the last time you scored some Booty Juice?

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com/Boltenkoff

The Drug Enforcement Administration has long been known for its willful lack of knowledge about marijuana. Ignoring an ever-growing mountain of evidence, DEA administrator Chuck Rosenberg declared late last year that medical marijuana is a "joke," and the agency continues to expend taxpayer dollars desperately trying to maintain that low-THC hemp for food and fiber is the same thing as marijuana.

The DEA thinks it can provide a service to parents fighting the marijuana menace by compiling a list of Drug Slang Code Words about weed, and a few days ago, the National Drug Early Warning System, a project of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, released the latest version. Some of the entries are common slang of the type seen in newspaper headlines (pot, grass, weed), some are foreign words that mean "marijuana" (maconha, mota, pakalolo), and some are simply strain names (Chernobyl, Girl Scout Cookies, Gorilla Glue). But some are simply ridiculous and appear to lack any actual basis for being included.

Here are 10 of the silliest DEA slang terms for weed, and remember, your tax dollars paid for this list.

1. Bambalachacha.  Really? It shows up in a 2007 entry in Urban Dictionary and a couple of other slang dictionary entries using the exact same phrasing and sentence example, but other than that, nada.

2. Booty Juice. Whoever came up with this as a synonym for marijuana needs a shot of booty juice himself, which the Urban Dictionary defines as "a shot of medication giving to psychiatric patients." Urban Dictionary gives as a second usage "the personal possession of having a good butt," and there is a cocktail that goes by the name, as well as a 1994 tune with that title by rappers DWH on their "Fear of a Black Hat" album," but neither have anything to do with weed.

3. Burritos Verdes. This must be marijuana slang so hip it isn't even on the internet, but if you search for it, you'll find a mouth-watering recipe for "Smothered Slow Cooker Chile Verde Pork Burritos."

4. Fine Stu. Another mysterious entry. Google searches turn up no marijuana-related hits, but we do find out that a guy named Stu Fine was named among the 25 Best A&Rs in hip hop history.

5. Good Giggles. The internet has never heard of anyone actually using this nickname for weed, although related terms such as "giggle smoke" and "giggle weed" go back to the days of Harry Anslinger, and pot media outlet Leafly gives us 7 Giggly Cannabis Strains for Inducing Laughing Fits.

6. Joy Smoke. Kind of makes sense, no? But if you ever heard anybody use it, it was probably your great-grandmother. The Dictionary of American Slang dates this to the 1940s.

7. Love Nuggets. Buds are sometimes called "nugs," but we don't know who's using this variation. The Urban Dictionary defines the term as "a dude's balls, preferably utilized toward a female to entice her" and there was a 2014 campaign in Britain to improve relationships that used the term to mean "everyday acts of love [that] can lead to a happier, healthier and stronger relationship, even more than big gestures like chocolates or expensive holidays.” Neither has anything to do with weed.

8. Pocket Rocket. This is 1950s truck driver slang for prescription amphetamines. Urban Dictionary has some more recent usages dealing with either erect penises or petite women, but nothing about weed. DEA needs to keep its drugs straight.

9. Righteous Bush. The Urban Dictionary defines this as "an extremely hairy vagina or excessive amounts of public hair on a vagina," although the Lingo Dictionary does define it as a "marijuana plant." Nobody defines it as the 43rd president of the United States.

10. Smoochy Woochy Poochy. Do they just make this stuff up? This sounds like an excessively romantic dog, and we can't find anybody actually using this to refer to marijuana. 

Phillip Smith is editor of the AlterNet Drug Reporter and author of the Drug War Chronicle.

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