Drugs

8 Really Ridiculous Marijuana Strain Names

Does the very name of your marijuana strain bring a smile to your face? It should.

Photo Credit: Mangokeylime/Wikimedia/Creative Commons

Once upon a time, back in the days of yore, pot was pot. It was green, full of stems and seeds, and usually available as compacted bricks of weed from Mexico. It didn't have fancy names.

But about a half century ago, as marijuana seeped into the popular consciousness, there were some break-out branding efforts. You didn't want just any Mexican weed—you wanted the fabled "Meshmecan" (a garbled rendition of the name of the Mexican state of Michoacan), or better yet, Acapulco Gold.

And then there was Maui Wowie. And Thai Stick. And Colombian Red Bud. All of these strain names were rooted in place, seeking to make exoticism—as well as high THC content—a selling point.

But today, in the age of creeping marijuana legalization, the number of strains has exploded, the linkage with locales has largely vanished, and marketing-savvy pot entrepreneurs seeking a niche for their products have gone on a serious branding binge. Many strain names are linked to properties of the plants they identify ("Blue Dream," "Purple Urkle," "Sour Diesel"), others are named for their powerful properties ("AK 47,"  Alaskan Thunderf**k"), and some for celebrities (Willie Nelson's "Willie's Reserve," the Bob Marley family's "Marley Natural").

And some are just downright strange and funny. Here are 8 of the funniest marijuana strain names (in no particular order), with a tip of the hat to Civilized.

1. Purple Monkey Balls

It can be amusing to watch your friends' faces when you tell them what they're smoking.

2. Dopium

References to other drugs are not unusual, with the implication being that the weed is so strong it's like, well, opium, in this case. Another strain name in this category is "Green Crack." Some people find these funny; others, usually in the industry, worry about linking benign buds to harder drugs.

3. Zombie Killer OG

May not actually help you kill zombies in real life, but will undoubtedly make the undead easier to kill on your video screen.

4. Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien

Huh?

5. Girl Scout Cookies

Probably the only strain name you can talk about buying in front of your parents. The Girl Scouts probably aren't so amused, though.

6. Bob Saget OG

Saget is best known as the family-friendly dad in the sit-com Full Houseand currently has a gig as the host of America's Funniest Home Videos. What makes this name so funny is that Saget is actually an obscenely foul-mouthed and bodily function-oriented comic, as evidenced by Saget's version of the classic dirty joke The Aristocrats.

7. Barack O Bubba

Humorless Democratic Party partisans are not amused, but the rest of us can get a chuckle out of this one.

8. Charlie Sheen

Not sure I want to smoke this. Can't afford all the hookers and cocaine. 

 

Phillip Smith is editor of the AlterNet Drug Reporter and author of the Drug War Chronicle.

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