Was your "ex" violent and possessive? Did he drink too much? Was he emotional, unpredictable and prone to rages and anger management problems? When you tried to end the relationship did he threaten or stalk you? If you tried to date someone else did he intervene? Did you have to notify the authorities?
It is no coincidence that violent "exes" are so alike. There is a definite "domestic batterer" personality. The dark behavior begins with possessiveness and extreme suspicion and graduates into violence including violence against their partners' pets. Many domestic batterers say "you're never leaving me alive" and, despite orders of protection, their chilling prediction often comes through. No wonder one woman we know in New Orleans says the "best thing about my marriage was we didn't have children and we didn't have a handgun."

And no wonder the Oscar "Blade Runner" Pistorius trial is bringing back so many flashbacks to abused women.

Pistorius claims he loved Reeva Steenkamp the girlfriend he murdered, but emails presented in his trial do not profess love. They do criticize her for chewing gum and flirting with someone else at a party. Pistorius "loved" Reeva Steenkamp but did not check to see if she was in her bed (or in another safe place) before firing four shots into the bathroom to kill an "intruder" and killing her. Neighbors report hearing female screams before the shooting which Pistorius' defense said was him. Right.

Pistorius, reported to be a gun lover by witnesses, also has a lot of contradictions about the murder itself.  He claims to have heard the intruder but the prosecutor, Gerrie Nel, says a loud air treatment system nearby would have baffled the noise. He claims he was afraid of the intruder but ran toward the intruder rather than out of the house when an exit was close by. Nor did he intentionally fire four shots, he says.

Pistorius also denies firing a pistol in a restaurant in 2013, months before his girlfriend's murder. "The athlete said he could not explain how the gun went off," reports CNN.

Like many gun lovers in the US, Pistorius mentions instances where he "defended" himself against criminals and stopped crimes while admitting that he never reported the incidents to law enforcement officials. Like US cop wannabes, he is such a believer in "good guys" defending themselves that he lets "bad guys" get away to strike again…..Thank you gun lovers.

Obviously not all gun lovers are domestic batterers or bullies. But many domestic batterers and bullies are gun lovers as reams of police records reveal. In fact, women are three times as likely to be shot and killed by gun-wielding intimate partners than by strangers. Nonetheless, the NRA works hard for laws that allow such men, accused of domestic violence, to retain their weapons while under orders of protection.

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