'Not going to change': Experts explain 3 types of narcissists — and how to cope with one in your life

12 July 2024

On Thursday, July 11, the journal Psychological Bulletin published the results of an in-depth study on narcissism. The research for the study was conducted internationally, focusing heavily on North America, Europe and New Zealand and analyzing 51 different studies.

The New York Times' Christina Caron examines the research in an article published on July 11, emphasizing that as a rule, narcissists don't become significantly less narcissistic as they grow older.

"The study…. found that if people had higher levels of narcissism than others when they were children, then this was also usually true when they reached adulthood," Caron reports. "The research featured subjects who were mostly white and lived in western cultures, and a number of the studies included in the analysis had low numbers of adults who were 65 or older, all of which makes it difficult to generalize the results."

Dr. Craig Malkin of Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, Massachusetts outside Boston told the Times, "When left to their own devices, people who are extremely narcissistic in this unhealthy way are not going to change."

The Times interviewed some mental health experts in order to identify some specific traits of narcissism, and three types of narcissism were cited: argentic narcissism, neurotic narcissism, and antagonistic narcissism.

"In short," Caron explains, "narcissism is a drive to feel special and unique…. Agentic narcissism is what most people think of when they imagine a narcissist. Those who score highly in this dimension are focused on status, power and success…. Neurotic narcissism is characterized by hypersensitivity…. Those with antagonistic narcissism often view others as rivals."

Caron poses the question: "How do you cope with a narcissist?"

According to the Times reporter, "Narcissists are unlikely to improve much in the short term unless they pursue intensive treatment, the experts said, which can put a burden on their friends and family…. One strategy is to try what Dr. Malkin calls 'catching good.'"

Caron continues, "Narcissistic people are often looking for recognition, so he suggests praising them when they are being more cooperative or caring. By the same token, he said, in situations where you have to maintain contact with a narcissist — for example at family get-togethers or at work — you can punish negative behavior by withdrawing or remaining silent."

Read the New York Times' full report at this link (subscription required).

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