George Conway brutally mocks Trump supporters in satirical Washington Post op-ed

Conservative attorney George Conway opens a February 5 op-ed for the Washington Post by declaring, “I believe the president, and in the president.” Those familiar with his history will suspect that he is being sarcastic: Conway is one of President Donald Trump’s most vehement critics on the right. And sure enough, the op-ed is a parody — one in which Conway brutally mocks the type of ridiculous things that Trump’s sycophants typically say in his defense.

Conway goes on to make a long list of other “pro-Trump” statements, some of which ridicule the ways in which Republicans in Congress have rallied to his defense during his impeachment trial.

“I believe the Senate is right to acquit the president,” Conway sarcastically writes. “I believe a fair trial is one with no witnesses, and that the trial was therefore fair. I believe the House was unfair because it found evidence against him. I believe that if the president does something that he believes will get himself reelected, that’s in the public interest and can’t be the kind of thing that results in impeachment.”

The attorney also ridicules Senate Republicans who voted against having any testimony from witnesses during Trump’s impeachment trial and Trumpistas who promote the debunked CrowdStrike conspiracy theory — which claims that it was the Ukrainian government, not the Russian government and President Vladimir Putin, that interfered in the United States’ 2016 presidential election.

Conway declares, “I believe former National Security Adviser John Bolton has no relevant testimony because he didn’t leave the White House on good terms….  I believe Ukraine interfered with the 2016 election, and that the intelligence community’s suggestion otherwise is a Deep State lie. I believe the Democratic National Committee server is in Ukraine, where CrowdStrike hid it.”

The attorney also weighs in on everything from the Mueller Report to the Trump/Stormy Daniels scandal.

“I believe the president didn’t know Michael Cohen was paying off porn star Stormy Daniels, and that Cohen did it on his own, because the president had no reason to pay her off. I believe the president was reimbursing Cohen for his legal expertise,” Conway writes.

Conway wraps up his op-ed by mocking those who claim that Trump’s motives are purely altruistic.

“I believe the president is selfless and always puts the nation’s interests first,” Conway writes. “I believe he isn’t a narcissist, but he’d be entitled to be one if he were one. I believe the president would never exercise his presidential powers to advance his personal interests, but if he did, that would be OK, because whatever is in his personal interests is necessarily in the nation’s interests as well.”