Columnist David Mastio can’t gauge the specific inflation at your local grocery store, but he is confident President Donald Trump’s “flattery inflation is on the rise.”
On Friday, FIFA president Gianni Infantino designated Donald Trump the orgaization’s inaugural "FIFA Peace Prize" winner on stage with a gold medal “for Trump to don and a trophy of golden hands holding up the world for his Oval Office mantel,” Mastio told the Kansas City Star. Fox hosts remain sensitive to the suggestion that the organization created the prize to look like Trump's ever-coveted Nobel Peace Prize on purpose.
“That should keep Trumpian threats to remove World Cup games from “Democrat-run” cities on the back burner for now, but summer 2026 when the games will come to the Democrat-run Kansas City is a long way from now,” Mastio warned. “Maybe Kansas City Mayor Quinton Lucas should a fire up a backup plan in case flattery inflation continues to run amok in Washington and we need to fend off a resurgence of threats to move the games the city has spent so much time, effort and money preparing for.”
Mastio also suggested city leaders throw out all the promotional signage and rename Kansas City’s FIFA World Cup as the “Kansas City FIFA World Cup presented to you by Peace Prize-winner Donald Trump.”
“His picture could be added to bus wraps, banners and billboards all with a proliferation of gold braid, heavy on the gold,” Mastio added. “For the games, the balls could be remade with one of the Pentagon thingies emblazoned with a sparkly gold T. Replicas would sell out because what could be more satisfying than taking a Trump ball to your backyard and giving it a good kick the way some of us would like to do.”
Additionally, Mastio noted that when Trump has been successfully flattered he is prone to “conceding all kinds of important points in negotiations,” such as when he announced on the FIFA stage that soccer had a better claim on the name “football” than that game played by the Kansas City Chiefs.
“Maybe Clark Hunt could get the owners of the National Football League to rename the Super Bowl as the ‘Trump Bowl’ in an effort to keep their hold on the name ‘football’ that Trump seems so keen to give away,” Mastio said.
“For my part, I think I will write a card to The Donald telling him that I’ll name my next child Trump,” Mastio said. “That makes about as much sense as a FIFA Peace Prize.”
Read the Kansas City report at this link.